Aftermath

Yesterday was suppose to be a happy moment for my daughter she does not what is going in since she is only 8. Celebrating her birthday made her happy but it made it extremely painful for my wife. The whole time I could not bare to look at her. She reminded me of what she is going through and what her life would be like because of me she may never trust anyone let alone me. She trusted me opened her heart and what did I do destroy that. She feels the love was one sided and she is right If I truly loved someone I could never do this to them. There is not much I can when I had chance I should have became aware of what I was doing. I can only pray and hope to continue to not lie, only thing I can do. My wife realizes it is beyond repair since the foundation of our relationship was based on lies. How can I apologize to her and my daughter to ruining their life when it is meaningless and there are no words that can make people I hurt any less suffer-able. Today is realize that the ties are cut she may or not speak to me but important thing in life is to be a good person. I can drown myself and kick myself for what I became but that does not solve the problem. I may not fix things with the people I hurt but I know for a fact that I cannot continue to be a monster, I stay on the path of recovering and be a good person so no one has to suffer and endure this type of emotional and physical pain.