aftermath
I slept late today, and when I got up, made my coffee and waited for it to perk so I opened up the back door and noticed the sun was shining bright and not a cloud in the sky, unlike yesterday.
I don't know why but I was mesmerized by this brown and white butterfly that landed on the arm of a chair on the deck, he walked in a circle and flew away and then flew back toward me again before he disappeared. I read somewhere that God talks to us through nature, butterflies and animals. I visited with my wife's sister who has opened her heart and her home to me and we were swinging on her deck swing when a hummingbird flew by and stopped mid air right in front of me. He watched me for a few seconds and then flew away. I don't know why those simple things stood out in my mind.
I was taking inventory of what I have, today and I realized that I have nothing to offer another woman. I have a washer and dryer, hdtv, bed and bureau, laptop and printer, my tools, wife has house and car so I have no transportation and when I am done doctoring for my thumb, I will have 30 days to find another place. Oh and I will have some money in an ira but I don't want to take it out right now because I don't want to pay the penalties on it.
The income from the work that I do isn't really stable so I really have little to offer and years from now, if I make it that long, I will probably die a lonely old man, living in a rented apartment somewhere.
I have thought about alot of different things but my options are severely limited. Right now, I am just playing things by ear and hoping my Higher Power steps in to give me some insight or, at least, a little bit of hope that I can cling to that things will get better.
I don't know why but I was mesmerized by this brown and white butterfly that landed on the arm of a chair on the deck, he walked in a circle and flew away and then flew back toward me again before he disappeared. I read somewhere that God talks to us through nature, butterflies and animals. I visited with my wife's sister who has opened her heart and her home to me and we were swinging on her deck swing when a hummingbird flew by and stopped mid air right in front of me. He watched me for a few seconds and then flew away. I don't know why those simple things stood out in my mind.
I was taking inventory of what I have, today and I realized that I have nothing to offer another woman. I have a washer and dryer, hdtv, bed and bureau, laptop and printer, my tools, wife has house and car so I have no transportation and when I am done doctoring for my thumb, I will have 30 days to find another place. Oh and I will have some money in an ira but I don't want to take it out right now because I don't want to pay the penalties on it.
The income from the work that I do isn't really stable so I really have little to offer and years from now, if I make it that long, I will probably die a lonely old man, living in a rented apartment somewhere.
I have thought about alot of different things but my options are severely limited. Right now, I am just playing things by ear and hoping my Higher Power steps in to give me some insight or, at least, a little bit of hope that I can cling to that things will get better.
Replies
Bob you have more to offer than you think! I wish for you to find peace with life now that you have come to the end of the marriage. I bet in a year you will be telling us all the wonderful things that are happening to you. Keep looking for those signs from God and nature!
Our FAITH is our light, it protects us from the darkness! The Good Lord will not lead us where He will not protect us! Stay strong! Continue to be mindful of the subtle messages He is giving to you now and will continue to give.
A ending is nothing more than a NEW BEGINNING : ) Prayers and hugs being sent your way!
Not every person will judge you on what you\'ve got-some people love you for who you are. How come wife got house? Just wondering? Nature\'s beauties will always be there for you- keep looking for the light.
dinah xxxxx
Bob, not all women look to a man for what material possessions he has or how much money he has. Many of us only want what a man can give from his heart, not what he can give from his wallet.
You\'re a kind, thoughtful, caring man, you have a loving heart and that\'s what\'s important. What you have inside of you are the things that are valuable and cherished, not possessions you own or the size of your bank account.
Bob, my good Friend, you are a terrific person and a very good Friend to so many people here at DS. You underestimate your qualities - I mean that to let you know, as the other Friends here at DS commented, don\'t put yourself down. There are too many uncaring people that the world has, unfortunately, to put down others. Why? Who the BLANK knows; they are miserable and they want others to join in their deep and dark and endless black holes. They have no hope nor joy. You, on the other hand, possess unlimited joyful and courageous qualities.
It\'s the pits when you\'re down, believe me when I say that I know about it. I can\'t enter your mind and soul to see what hurts you, but don\'t let yourself get caught up in the darkness. You are a shinging light, Bob. Please, remember that and know that you are loved and prayers come your way.
Take care.
Thanks for journaling. That, in and of itself, is a good thing. I care what happens to you.
Peace and Love, Franciann
ps Good women build a life with a good man. Bad women want material things.....please don\'t get all balled up in the mess of \"things.\" Please take care of YOU.
Ok Im a little late reading and responding.You my friend have more to offer a woman than a man with a mansion and a fancy car.You are honest,polite and loving.A poor man that is a good man is worth more than a rich man who is a cheater and a dis-honest man.Plus you have good looks that is an added bonus.Plus there is nothing wromg with apartment living.I am looking faword to it in my future.
Can\'t think of anything more to add, Bob. These ladies have said it so eloquently. Hugs to you!
Hey bob i am just reading this and it sounds just like my day yesterday. I was sitting by the pool and feeling really sorry for myself and then a hummingbird came and stopped right in front of me. My parents house also has butterfly bushes so i just sit and try to enjoy the beauty that is out there. Please dont say you have nothing to offer. I as a woman would not care about material things as much as i care about a guy being there for me when i need him. That is something i have NOT been able to find.. Anyway i hope your feeling better hon.. please think positive you will be ok:)
Bob, sorry to read about all the troubles. I\'m not sure how it works, but you may be able borrow money from your IRA to purchase a house without any early withdrawal penalties. It is like borrowing from the bank and you have to pay interest but the interest goes back to your IRA. Of you want more info on it PM me and I can have my accountant give me more details. in my prayers Bob.