Second chance at thanksgiving... I am so blessed... all of my children were here, and Lachus, and the inlaws and my folks, 23 in all, it was just a crazy jumble of people and it was PERFECT, could not have been more joyous and ... just... oh my gosh, and I was sober... SOBER.! I drank coffee. Let's not talk about how many desserts I ate, I am definitely compensating with the sugar, nervously stuffing my face... mindlessly... that's for sure... And I'm definitely gaining weight... I do have to address that... I have to slow down, and I have to start a regular mediation practice. That's what I have to do now. I have to help my daughter again. I have to step it up. I have to pay bills. Make lists, follow them, organize, organize, organize, and follow through... Claim my life. ALL of it. Call Barb and get that ED group started... I'm so scared though, to come out... I have to do it though. I have to reach out. I have to help someone and I have to get help myself... I can't do it alone.