Afraid of October 14

I am scared of what kind of day tomorrow is going to be,It would have been 28 years of marriage to my soulmate Pat.I have had 2-3 bad day's this month,but the rest of the month I have done good.We moved into a trailer in Jefferson City,TN which seem's to be a good thing,nice people in this small park,rent is good at 500 and we got tv and internet hooked up,so was doing good,It has only been since august 1,2011 since Pat went to heaven,I am not sure how to handle this anniversary,we are struggling with money right now, I was going to take the kid's out for supper,but like I said no money,so that suck's. Normally we would have gone to olive garden and to a movie and then we would have gone to walmart Christmas shopping.I just really hate what my life has become.I miss him so much,but at times it seems like he is still here.I feel his presence,sometimes it seems like it won't be long till we are together again,I don't know if that mean's that Jesus is going to come back soon,(which would be great)or if I feel like I may be going up to him in a few year's,or if we are still just that connected.I just hope I can get through this anniversary without to many tear's.