AF's bitchy presence
This month, AF is bad. Not only am I crampy and bleeding a lot (sorry if TMI) but my mood is pretty bad. I woke up feeling so down and so blah and so crampy that I called in sick. There are many things that I despise about IF, far too many things to even list, but one thing I really despise is the isolation of it all. There are too many days where I find it difficult to connect to my friends and family because I feel so entrenched in these crappy feelings and they just don't understand. Their answer is to just stay positive. I am all for positive thinking, and I do believe there is something to the mind/body/spirit connection, but I also know that a positive attitude isn't going to get me pregnant and if that's all it took, most of us wouldn't be on DS sharing our sorrows. I feel broken these days, and seems to me society in general is uninterested in broken, people don't want to hear about sadness or anger or unfairness, they want to "fix" things and tell you to move on and be positive. Anyway, this is me today, and I know my mood will change, thus is the ebb and flow life, the ups and downs of the challenges of IF. Thank you all for being here during these crappy times to uplift my spirits! Hope you are all having a better day than I am......
Replies
Oh hon. I\'m sorry to hear that you\'re struggling. I know exactly how you feel and the isolation of IF has often been my least favourite part (other than the no baby piece obviously). I\'m glad that you took the day for yourself and didnt try and struggle through work. I think it\'s important sometimes to take these days and just grieve. Good luck
This is a crappy day ! Not only did AF show but this was your last IUI. Even if you didn\'t believe it would work deep down I\'m sure you were still hoping. Plus after all your medical issues IFV really scares you and now you have to go down that road. It \'s a road we all would want to avoid but it\'s easier for some more than others. From what you have written, your past will not make it easy. I really hope you have better days soon but on some days being down is really just is what you need
I completely agree with feeling like \"we\" need to be positive and hopeful because everyone, friends and family don\'t want to be bothered with the sadness sometimes. They don\'t understand what its like and that we may never get what we truly want out of this whole process. That\'s what\'s so devastating, if we just knew for sure, \"hey, this might take a few more months, years, but you will definitely have a baby\" maybe we\'d be more positive and not so sad (esp when AF arrives). But we don\'t know and people need to put themselves in our shoes and be more understanding when we actually open up to them about our feelings. Hope you\'re having a better day to you and best of luck to you this coming cycle!
**Hope you are having a better day today & best of luck to you this coming cycle.
Thank you! Feeling like I\'m starting to climb out of my funk, a little. Ugh, what a roller coaster! Thank God for all of you!!!!
Happy that you are feeling better now.. Its good that you took a day off.. I think I will too , my AF has arrived and iv started cramping too.. Totally understand about family and friends not understanding.. its really a bad sad situation, but on the bright side, somehow one day I hope that you will get that baby in your arms.