Adventures In Life
Well I had promised hubby that by the beginning of this wk if we had not heard anything back on his ABG test fr the respiratory hospital I'd call his lung dr & see what was what. The assistant answered the ph & I relayed to her what had transpired at the hospital & that I was wondering if appt results had been received by them yet. So later in the day sure enough she phoned back & confirmed that the ABG result does qualify him for home oxygen. So things are more or less in the works. What will happen is he'll be put on for a temporary period of 3 months then a person fr the company will visit us, review everything including his meds & general health stats & then he can be put thru for permanent (gov medicare covered).
Now here's a puzzling thing. We'll be given information on the many options there are avail for portable oxygen but this type of purchase would be from our own pockets which I understand as otherwise people would go crazy wild purchasing things cause there'd be no cost. I felt we shd go ahead & proceed with checking it out & purchasing something that can work for our lifestyle. Hubby so far with his cancer thing has not really talked deeply fr his heart on various things he could be feeling but he all of a sudden came up with that maybe we shd wait for a while to see how the cancer(DARN I'M SO HATING THIS WORD) treatment proceeds & decide fr there. My thoughts are that a portable device would allow us in the here & now to enjoy going out for dinners & breakfast when we want, to go for our morning meditation & coffee times in the garden conservatory, shopping stuff & just all kinds of stuff. He'd probably even be able to stop in at the cat shelter for brief visits with his favs. But if we wait........................well who knows right.
I've had some major low blood sugar episodes & just can't seem to stabilize myself that easily. A strange episode recently happened in the middle of the night. There's a brief portion of time that I'll never quite remember but I remember him sitting beside me & he got one of my glucose treatment drinks & I was taking it. The other thing I'm very consciously aware of was him all of a sudden saying "you can't live alone". I don't think it takes rocket science to know where deep back of the mind thoughts like this were coming from. I've now made two adjustments to the amt of insulin I take before supper & then before bed. It will take a few days to really judge the difference but I do think it's starting to help.
I'm so up, down & all around. I have to watch, there's this huge part of me that is getting the desire to bury myself away fr life, just say go away & don't bother me right now. But thankfully there's the other side that so far knows this is more a cowards way out I guess. The only thing I can truthfully say is, it pretty much feels like a monkey on my back 24 hrs a day.
But, I still get to bury myself in kitty love every Wed morning (although I'm thinking of not going in next wk). They so know how to just make a person forget abt life for a bit & just drift along in a good place. They give so so much when they somehow know you need it.
Anywho I guess thats abt it for today. Love you all so very much my friends.
Now here's a puzzling thing. We'll be given information on the many options there are avail for portable oxygen but this type of purchase would be from our own pockets which I understand as otherwise people would go crazy wild purchasing things cause there'd be no cost. I felt we shd go ahead & proceed with checking it out & purchasing something that can work for our lifestyle. Hubby so far with his cancer thing has not really talked deeply fr his heart on various things he could be feeling but he all of a sudden came up with that maybe we shd wait for a while to see how the cancer(DARN I'M SO HATING THIS WORD) treatment proceeds & decide fr there. My thoughts are that a portable device would allow us in the here & now to enjoy going out for dinners & breakfast when we want, to go for our morning meditation & coffee times in the garden conservatory, shopping stuff & just all kinds of stuff. He'd probably even be able to stop in at the cat shelter for brief visits with his favs. But if we wait........................well who knows right.
I've had some major low blood sugar episodes & just can't seem to stabilize myself that easily. A strange episode recently happened in the middle of the night. There's a brief portion of time that I'll never quite remember but I remember him sitting beside me & he got one of my glucose treatment drinks & I was taking it. The other thing I'm very consciously aware of was him all of a sudden saying "you can't live alone". I don't think it takes rocket science to know where deep back of the mind thoughts like this were coming from. I've now made two adjustments to the amt of insulin I take before supper & then before bed. It will take a few days to really judge the difference but I do think it's starting to help.
I'm so up, down & all around. I have to watch, there's this huge part of me that is getting the desire to bury myself away fr life, just say go away & don't bother me right now. But thankfully there's the other side that so far knows this is more a cowards way out I guess. The only thing I can truthfully say is, it pretty much feels like a monkey on my back 24 hrs a day.
But, I still get to bury myself in kitty love every Wed morning (although I'm thinking of not going in next wk). They so know how to just make a person forget abt life for a bit & just drift along in a good place. They give so so much when they somehow know you need it.
Anywho I guess thats abt it for today. Love you all so very much my friends.
Replies
It\'s okay to hide, we all do, just don\'t for too long. Kitty love fixes everything. Take care, Kitty. HUGS
Oh, my friend, I am so sorry you are going through this. I\'m sorry I didn\'t see this journal till now. :(
I can relate to the thoughts both you and hubby are having. It is heartbreaking. I do think these clouds will pass and soon you will both be thinking that \"we did it before and we can do it again!\" I too hate to use the C word. Sometimes I want to call it CANDEE or something, but usually I just say \"my diagnosis\" since my son has very big ears.
God can heal all things. And he can make what he doesn\'t heal so much more tolerable. We just have to make a little room for him (move over) to sit with us. : ) I like picturing it that way. It helps me right now, so I hope it helps you too. I know I sometimes like to hog the whole darn bench.
I hope your change in dosage is helping you. I\'m worried about you. I\'m sure the stress isn\'t helping. And these hard decisions you have to make about oxygen are hard I know. I\'ve made some tough decisions lately too but if God is in your decision, it should feel peaceful. That\'s a good answer my beloved pastor gave me once. Go with the decision that feels most peaceful and it\'s hard to go wrong.
I\'m glad you are at least getting some very good kitty therapy and I do hope you can go next week (this week).
Please let us know how you are doing now. I am praying for you and rooting for you both.
My sweet sweet Pat! I wish I could be there with you right now. I know how hard this has to be for you to go through. You know God is right there with you reach out and take hold of his loving hands and talk to him , he will guide your every move. please don\'t give up. You have been through so much but only God knows why . I don\'t think it would be a good idea to give up going to the kitties. You would miss them and they would miss you.
I think your right about the oxygen . Taking it with you when you go out will give Mel and you peace of mind and not worry if he\'s breathing is ok. I take mine when I do get to go outside.
I am so sorry your have to go through this . You and Mel are in my prayers and in my heart. I love you. ~Frieda~
if you need me I am only a phone call away. Now I know why you didn\'t return my call.So I will wait to your ready to talk.