Adele - the best MIL in the world

When my husband and I started out he said bad things about his mother.  Nothing specific, just dismissive crap. His sister was estranged from his mother.   I also hear some stories about the way he and his siblings misbehaved as children.  The siblings laughed at the stories, I started to sympathize with MIL.   Eventually, I heard of how her husband was a gambler, drunk, and wife beater who she had the courage to leave when she had 6 kids and no job.  He beat her and she lost a baby - THAT'S A GREAT REASON TO CUT SOMEBODY OUT!!  And she pulled herself up - dealing with 6 kids - who wouldn't listen to her!  I finally retired from the military we lived on the same coast. When my mother got very ill I would go up to NY for the weekends about 2 times a month and wind up at my mother-in-law's house where she'd cheer me up, feed me, and we'd have the greatest conversations. Even after my own mother passed I continued to go up to visit with her every chance I got.   I ended up going to California with her on vacation and doing so much with her. And she was SUCH a character!! Smart, witty, funny and able to take a joke.  Once I went into a diner with her and the waitress yelled from across the room, "whaddaya want, you old hag!".  I was shocked, but my MIL gave it right back.  As it turns out my MIL went to the diner every year at Halloween in a witch's costume.  She was about 82 at the time!   She died about 7 years after my own mother. I really came to love her and I miss her very much.  Did you notice where I said the sister was estranged?  She was exactly like my daughter. She stopped talking to her mother because SHE had done wrong.  I stopped my own husband from distancing his mother because I just didn't understand estrangement of one's own parents.  I'd insist we were going to see hsi mother if we're on that side of the planet!!.  Eventually, as he matured, he appreciated her.  But if I hadn't forced him to visit he wouldn't have.  A few years ago his brother was dying and I TOLD him we were going to go visit him.  Miraculously his brother survived three years after that and we got a few more visits.  I even made the whole lot of them get together -with the help of my sister-in-law.  So in this family, if they hadn't married women who forced them to get together with their sibling, they never would.  I'm convinced it runs in families.