Addiction,&Mental Health

I don't think there's hope left anywhere for me.

I have a lot of ongoing mental health problems, and with that I have been self medicating myself to help, ease my battle with my own mind. But now it's became a problem. I'm codependent on this drug, I'm now using stronger drugs just to feel different. I have became what I have always told myself I would NOT become - a drug addict. 

Whenever I don't have anything to take the edge, pain away. I am so emotional. I can't handle myself, I can't handle my thoughts! I am my own worse enemy. I need help and there seems to be NOWHERE to turn!