Addendem to Monday
My daughter called tonight. Her Pastor spent about 3 hours with the family today. He read scriptures and prayed with my Ex. The Dr. also went in with my 2 kids and told their mom that there is no hope, that the only thing keeping her alive are the machines she is hooked to. She told the kids she was afraid and got tears in her eyes. Unless things change the 28th will be the day that my kids must make the hardest decision of their lives.
I feel terrible for them but, as their mom's ex husband, I have really little or no sayso in anything which I understand and accept. I just feel so bad for my kids sake. My daughter never told me whether her mom said yes or no to my request so, I guess I am to assume, she doesn't want to see me. I never dreamed I would have to face something like this so soon and so close to the anniversary of our son's death, the 6th of July. This is so sad for me because she was my first and only girlfriend all through high school. I spent from 1958 to 1972 with this young lady and even though she never really loved me, I have memories of our first kiss, our wedding, the birth of our kids, our first home.
These were the good memories. These are the ones I choose to remember when I think of her. Stupid me I guess but, it's so hard to see someone die like this even if her treatment of me was terrible in the latter years of our 10 year marriage. When we divorced, she was 25, I was 28.
It seems like yesterday in some ways and in others, it seems like a hundred years ago.
I have asked to see her twice, I will not ask again. My kids told me they are willing to let her go. I must do the same. I guess if I didn't care for people, it wouldn't matter but, I do care. I have spent the last half of my life, caring for and caring about others and, odd as it may seem, I never did anything to cause my ex problems, never treated her bad, I just stayed out of her way and in the background and in the shadows of what once was.
I feel terrible for them but, as their mom's ex husband, I have really little or no sayso in anything which I understand and accept. I just feel so bad for my kids sake. My daughter never told me whether her mom said yes or no to my request so, I guess I am to assume, she doesn't want to see me. I never dreamed I would have to face something like this so soon and so close to the anniversary of our son's death, the 6th of July. This is so sad for me because she was my first and only girlfriend all through high school. I spent from 1958 to 1972 with this young lady and even though she never really loved me, I have memories of our first kiss, our wedding, the birth of our kids, our first home.
These were the good memories. These are the ones I choose to remember when I think of her. Stupid me I guess but, it's so hard to see someone die like this even if her treatment of me was terrible in the latter years of our 10 year marriage. When we divorced, she was 25, I was 28.
It seems like yesterday in some ways and in others, it seems like a hundred years ago.
I have asked to see her twice, I will not ask again. My kids told me they are willing to let her go. I must do the same. I guess if I didn't care for people, it wouldn't matter but, I do care. I have spent the last half of my life, caring for and caring about others and, odd as it may seem, I never did anything to cause my ex problems, never treated her bad, I just stayed out of her way and in the background and in the shadows of what once was.
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