Accidents/Doctors/Insurance/Attorneys/Nightmare

 
Everyone has a story - we all have seasons of our lives. Of this, I have always been aware and I have always faced this truth head on. Even in my darkest seasons as a child, a teenager, and a young adult, nothing could keep me "down". And nothing ever kept me "down" in the eyes of my friends and family - only I would know when I was at my worst! I would push through, stay strong, and "get over it."
But two years ago, a drunk/drugged driver made a decision that would change everything. During the first year, I tried to be who I have always been - the strong, stubborn, go-getter, who can fix any problem, and never look back. But the more time that went by the more discouraged I became by my physical pain and limits. After months of physical therapy; it seemed to me that all anyone cared about was my lawsuit and the money to be made from said lawsuit.

My pain was getting worse, my injuries were mounting, and I wasn't getting any answers. Of course, all anyone wanted to do was pump me full of pain med's - which I refused for good reason. 1) I have an addictive personality and 2) I watched my father-in-law slowly kill himself with opiates. No matter how bad the pain, I wasn't willing to risk my mental well-being or my life by taking opiates. Well, that one decision created an atmosphere of hostility among every medical provider I crossed paths with. It's like they couldn't believe the pain was THAT BAD, if I wasn't willing to pop a pill for it.
I've been to one doctor after another - orthopedic surgeons, chiropractors, neurosurgeons, and physical therapists. I have seven herniated discs throughout my back (cervical, thoracic, and lumbar). I had surgery at my L5-S1 in September 2013 which was a tremendous relief but was only the beginning. Sadly, that is where I was left with my road to recovery.
Everywhere I turn since the surgery seems to be a dead end. I walk into the doctors office, fill out the initial paperwork, wait patiently, only to be bombarded with question after question about my accident, lawsuit, and my depression. "Why isn't the lawsuit settled?" "Why is the PIP money exhausted?" "How long have you suffered from depression?" "Is the depression from the accident?"
At my last appoint, I waited an hour and forty-five minutes to see the doctor and he spent 10-minutes with me. During that time he repeatedly asked me those questions and then reviewed MRI's that are two years old. Then preceded to tell me that I have DDD (which I know) and multiple herniated discs (which I know) and that from an Orthopedic standpoint there is nothing he can do for me but he would gladly send me to a pain management treatment center... this after I specifically said I will not take opiates. Plus, he can prescribe pain med's and give me cortisone shots, so I don't know why he was writing me off.
This entire journey has been a nightmare and this is just a tiny bit of the physical part of it.