Acard will do? I have heard-how come no reply?

Why do people shy away from us survivors of suicide? It is because it is a taboo? Is it because noone wants to talk about it? When will all of this nonsense stop and people start talking to each other? Why are all these young mens ears stuffed always with an i pod? Why do these people attend these so called happy hours? Is it because they want to avoid me? Why? I HAVENT DONT ANYTHING WRONG.WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS?WHat about my support? I was with Brad for twelve and half years and I had it hard with him,but when Brad wasnt drinking...we had fun together and he was a good man.One day he came home and he was sober and I was getting ready for bed,Brad told me to get dressed because we were going dancing? Brad and i had a good time and it showed...everyone admired his moves.Unfortunately,this was one of the last times we were out in public and it hurt me.Just because he committed suicide doesnt mean I have cooties.I am going thru a lot of pain and it would help to have someone meet for lunch and such.I wont talk about Brads death,,but I need someone to talk to.I havent got nooone and he is away.I wont see a doctor until November.I feel horrible and cant anyone blame me? I am not to blame.And if Patrick Swayze died of suicide....the whole world would be sending his wife tributes and flowers and cards...well,excuse me..I need them also.But this is the way people are.Other people can do this...you cant and this line fo thinking is wrong and immature and it stinks.just like her.