About Chris

Hi Everyone ... Thank you for the welcomes. I signed up last month but haven't had time to get on here. Fortunatly the last few months have been good, better than they have been for the last three years. My youngest son Steven and his wife Dacey just had a baby, he was born 11/27/10 and they named him Christopher after my older son that passed. He brings so much happiness .... but there is still that feeling that someone is missing .. It would be so nice to have Chris here to brag about his nephew. 
Let me tell you about Chris .... he was soooo smart, friendly and helpful. He was my best friend, he knew me well,  i could actually talk to him about almost anything. Him and Steven moved out together when Steven turned 18, they shared a house with Stevens girlfriend Dacey (now his wife). Chris & Steven were not only brothers but best friends (born 14 mo apart), and Dacey fit right in with them.  Chris would come to visit everyday after work,  before he went to school. He worked as a computer tech for the school district... at 21 he was doing very well. Very proud of him ..... He would drop anything to go help a friend in need. 
I was always worried about Chris on his motorcycle...ever since I was young i had a fear of someone I loved would die on a motorcycle. Chris, Steven, Dacey and my husband all bought bikes after they moved out(sold them after Chris died) ... I was always worried when they went riding. Chris was a daredevil, had no fear. Him and I had talked about him being careful, he told me "mom, death is not a bad thing" he also told me every time he got on his bike he felt a rush... I made sure every time he left I told him how much I love him.  
He was at our house the night he died, he came for dinner, played darts with his dad ,  and left around 6 to to go to school. He died about 2 miles away from our house. A car turned in front of him, but it was his fault. From what we understand he died instantly .... but we didn't find out for over 3 hours later.
I have no regrets about our relationship except that it wasn't long enough. I feel blessed to have had him in my life. I justify his death that he died doing what he liked to do, he was happy, dated many girls, had lots of friends, he never had to go through the stress that  adulthood can bring...That is the only way a can get by day by day ...... but I miss him sooooooo much. 
 
 

Replies

heartsandhands
heartsandhands

Dear friend, I am so sorry and sad to hear about Chris being gone. Like you I had two sons, and my older son Andy died of brain cancer... he and his bro Byron were 18 mos apart and so close. Like you I always had a worry and I made sure to love Andy every day. Like you miss him so much and now give thanks for the years we had him with us. Like you, it\'s day by day..... and I am so grateful for this space where we can find our way to a new kind of mothering... a way to have this terrible loss and sorrow become like a new light in our lives, in our hearts... something to carry and share when possible. Maybe we can all help each other get there.
Love and comfort to you and your family,
Sarah
p.s. love your name Bunny. Bunny was Andy\'s nickname until he was in Little League and I was yelling GO BUNNY! as he was running around the bases, and he came over the bleachers later and said, \"Uh, I would rather not be called Bunny anymore, ok?\" : D LOL!!! OK we said. From now on you will be Andy out in public.
bunnyturbo
bunnyturbo

lol ... thanks for sharing the bunny story, too cute.....xoxoxox , hope you have a nice day....... Mari
Livingjuicy
Livingjuicy

I am so very sorry about your son and appreciate reading your narrative. It is strange how we have those \"feelings\" around certain things our children involved themselves with. You describe a special closeness within your family and thank goodness for new life. It doesn\'t take away from your son yet adds such a healing element. How can one not feel on top of the world while in the presence of a child?! The healing journey is a spiral, isn\'t it with ups, downs and so many in-betweens. I\'m glad that you found FMO yet always sorry that any of us had to. Big sigh... XO Joanie