AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

We took our daughter out to dinner with us and Isabella since it was Friday night and my daughter got off work early (6 pm instead of the usual 9 pm on Mon-Thurs).  From the first minute, it was awful. She kept calling Isa "an evil child" and other such nonsense because Isa has a strong personality and wasn't all lovey-dovey to my daughter right away.  Then she told us at the cash register that she couldn't pay for her dinner because she hadn't cashed her paycheck yet. We went to Target afterward because it's right next door to the diner we ate at.  She kept trying to get me to buy things I don't want in my house for a 3 year old: lip gloss and Play-Doh.  I picked up some animal-shaped playing cards and watercolors in the dollar section.  Simple age-appropriate things.  I know from experience that Play-Doh crumbles and works its way into furniture and has to be scraped off the floor.  Lip gloss is just another messy thing Isa would want to carry around the house and rub against walls and furniture.   Cards are fun to match, stack, spread, etc.  Watercolors are done at the dining room table and are put away at the end of the project.  Easy paper towel wipe up and done. Then at the house, she got Isabella all worked up and hyper.  That's when she decided she was tired and wanted to go home--leaving Isabella wound up and angry that mommy was leaving now.  Sprinkled throughout the entire encounter, my daughter's language was horrible.  During the 15 minutes we were in the car driving back to the house, she was teaching Isa to say "stink eye butt cakes" until I asked her to stop.  Words like "crappy" and "Jesus Christ" and "slut" run through all her sentences.  This is not the way I want my granddaughter to grow up, with inappropriate words learned from her own mother. Visits like tonight make me shake my head and consider again: should I just cut my daughter out altogether?  It is so frustrating to watch her try to undermine all the hard work I put in 24/7 in just a couple of hours.  Isabella is getting more aware.  She tells me, "Don't be mean to mommy."  I become the bad guy because my daughter is inappropriate and childish.  I can only imagine what it will be like when Isa turns 12 or 14.  Fights over how to dress, when to get her a cell phone, etc etc etc.   After evenings like tonight, I just want to sell the house, and move with Isa and my husband out of state to escape this garbage.