AAARGH

Less than a month til the final hearing. I have done everything I can, reasonably, to get my daughters settled. And it is apparent that between their "upbringing" away form me and the poison they get from him and his relatives that I know nothing. That's fine, they are "adults" now as they keep informing me, so I shall have to allow them to sink or swim. At their age, I had my own apartment, full-time job and never ran back home again (although my father did help me out a time or two, as when my car was stolen, or ... but our relationship changed as I made my own progress and dealt with life and I suppose that probably relieved stresses on him. Either way, I appreciate his helping me when I was dealt an unfair and harsh blow in life.)
I'm still angry that the prosecutor's office never received the more serious reports. 14 years of his crap and they get him on ONE small thing and he won't even admit to it. I'm seen as the "bad person" because I went through a period where I ended up using "poor judgment" but admitted and made right what I did. This world is screwed up. Just deny, deny, deny and you will never be liable. Admit that you have done wrong, learned and moved on wiser and with better skills and be damned forever is what it seems like.
Got the page up and running and now have to deal with the site. But need to get some posts organized and scheduled because there are so many monkey wrenches in a day ... I can never make plans with any certainty and hate it. But I guess flexible flow is the way to go ... don't let it overstress me.
I have been writing various places, asking and even demanding answers. I am really questioning why I am being put through all this, by "Christians". At least, whether I get responses or not, I will have established a "paper trail". Maybe I will write a book ... I have enough material, that is for sure. Time to work ...
And sometimes, depression is a "blessing in disguise". If I wasn't being dragged down with this reactive depression, I doubt I'd be paying attention to the questions I amĀ  ... and those are questions that every victim of bullying and abuse should be asking ... feeling very cynical and jaundiced toward the "DV MOVEMENT" who operates on grants, by filling beds. They actually need to be standing strong and tall, alongside those being bullied and abused. That's not so hard to wrap the head around, is it? Thought not.

Replies

1Patriciann
1Patriciann

For me it was crisis where I was forced to accept reality and began adapting where the numbness from the PTSD has been severe but I understand it for saving my life and accept it these days. I think the greatest challenge is to learn acceptance and then once that has been achieved we may then work through situations and allow them to teach us to live better quality lives.

I\'m still at times coping with some sense that this nightmare crisis cannot somehow be \'real\' but over time I have accepted it and began adjusting. I\'m changed in ways that are painful to accept and miss the \'old me\' but the \'old\' me\' simply would not have been able to survive what this has been.

I better understand how many facing such crisis of advanced stage cancer combined with the death of a spouse and the victimization of the Christian community and they would have collapsed and died from being forced to cope alone too ill to have a job or viable life. To accept such circumstances and learn to survive them has been nightmare but I am adapting over time.

((hugs)) hoping life allows healing and happiness soon.
:-) Patricia
Rivanta
Rivanta

Wish you everything of the best! You have worked so hard for justice - I pray that on D-day all will be in your favour!

((HUGS))