AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

 i'm not too sad, but i am a little..... i feel like a failure...my fiance and i are fighting over money....my son needs money for school and extracurricular activities....i don't have a job....i'm very frustrated and feeling worthless...and I can't find a job....of course it's my own stupidity that got me into this situation...i was raised as a very independent, self-sufficient woman, that didn't need or depend on a man for anything....but now here i am in a relationship where he thinks his job is to work and pay the bills and support me/us...but i don't feel that way....i love him, but i don't want him to think of me or us or our family as a job.....i want my boyfriend, fiance, lover back, he's been gone for a long time and i miss him....i also want my career back....I was so f***ing stupid to quit my job....even if i was being micromanaged by two managers at the same time, crying everytime i had to go to work, and totally miserable....the work itself, when i got to do any was very very rewarding, and i loved it....but the treatment i recieved from my managers was so demeaning that it sent me into this state of "depression" or whatever it is i am going through....i cry for no reason.....god! i am so tired of feeling this way....there are so many things I want to do....but i can't....i'm failing at all level of my life....i just turned 41 and i haven't accomplished anything.... so sorry....i am just rambling....i am sure this whole thing doesn't even make sense but i am so frustrated and feel so constricted that i don't know what to do.......HELP!