A year and counting...

Well, today is just one of those days that I feel like just sitting on a heap and cry. A year on and I'm still battling to accept that this is my life. How on earth did I get here? Why am I even here? Still trying to figure out what I could have done to deserve this. It just infuriates me knowing that she is going about her life as if nothing happened, as she didn't ruin mine. She doesn't sit up at night and just ball her eyes out, she doesn't battle with those disgusting images in her head of the man who swore to love, honour and protect her with somebody else. I just feel so horrible and insufficient. I don't know how or if I'll ever get over this. I never get excited about anything anymore. They said it will get better with time, I've yet to find that out.