A year ago today

A year ago today i lost the greatest man i ever knew he was my rock he raised me took care of me taught me how to ride my first bike and no matter how much i screwed up he was always there to pick me up he was my Pawpa (grandpa) it was the hardest day of my life the day he passed away i was there with him taking care of him the same way he had taken care of me my whole life i couldnt believe it he was gone and never coming back it was the biggest lost in my adult life the one that ment the most to be was gone. I dont think i will ever get over it and nor do i want to i never want to forget him its so sad my kids will not know him llike i did. So on this day my 17dpiui i decided this was going to be the day i took a hpt, i thought maybe my Pawpa is with me and knows how much i want this. But on this day i got another BFN!!!! Now im think why did I ever have hope this month was going to be it ? AF is not suppose to be here till the 29th and my husband says still have faith and he has been praying like crazy. Everyone i talk to says its easier to get prenant when your not trying, why do people tell you that, if i want another baby i dont have much time my endo is getting worse by the months and my mental health and physical health is not always so good, im in bed all the time i cant handle the pain and mentally im worn out im always mean and a grouch and never want to do anything with anyone im always online looking for answers and symptoms and anything that gives me hope but i know realize if its not my time its not my time so with that said hopefully before X-mas i will be pregnant!

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Your Pawpa sounds like an amazing person. You\'ll have to share a story about him with us when you feel ready. I\'m sorry he\'s not here to lift you up like before, but I don\'t doubt he\'s nearby and holding you when you have no strength left.

Sending you baby dust for your goal this year!
Elle81
Elle81

thank you so much means alot at this time of need