A Work in Progress

Monday, August 3, 2009 - 1:45 PM I have spent a good part of the past few days figuring out how to tell my CNA that she can no longer have any of my medication. Theoretically, it should be an easy task, but I realize it is going to be hard for me mainly because it is always difficult for me to say "no" to those who are helping me. If things go as planned, this should be relatively easy even for me, but there is often a difference between what I plan to do, and what I actually do.   Dr. Martin told me that I should start out by telling my CNA that I do not mean to hurt or offend her, but that I will no longer give her any of my prescribed medicine. If she tries to give me an argument about this, then I am prepared to tell her that this is his way it is going to be, and that there is no use arguing about it.   I went to the grocery store (with a personal care provider) yesterday, which is something that I have not done for about a year and a half. I usually leave it to my CNA to do this for me, but have begun thinking that I am becoming too dependent on her and others. By doing some, or all, of this for myself, I will regain some of my independence that I seem to have lost to them. This will give me not only an opportunity to get out by myself, but I will be seeing and talking with others, which may help to lessen my depression and increase my self-esteem.   This morning I wrote an e-mail to my brother and invited him to go on a picnic with me at a park that he located. I passed by it as I went to the grocery store yesterday. It was about a three-mile round trip by wheelchair. It only took me about 15 to 20 minutes each way. Since going to the park was one of the activities my brother wanted to do with me, I decided to invite him here to do just that either next week or the one after. It will be interesting to receive his response.