a white guy named miller

it seems like i wake up happy then slowy get sad, today i woke up sad.look, last night, i had a show and there was a table full of white guys, and they were checking out my legs. it just felt weird. i used to love being checked out by white guys.  i didnt like it. im just not myslef anymore. im happy to know tht even w/o lotion my legs still look good but he just made me uncomfortable. the officer who set meup was a whiteguy. they also accused me of being black and i love afican americans but im not black or africanamrican. the officers werejust racist. they assume any black person they see is comiting a crime or is carrying weed.they are stupid. it hurts really bad bc  used to know a lot of white ppl. i just feel like the whites i know will set me up or they think im black, or a guy would have an alterior motive. its notfair!i never felt this way b4. it just feels uncomfortable when they look at me,i used to love to show off my body.  even if i could show off my body i couldnt bc ive put on too much weight.they are just stupid. i dont want them day dreaming about how sexy i am and try to use me and then go home to their happy life. i just felt like yelling at him. :( this is not me.im mixed with white and my great grandfather was not a racist man he loved everybody. he is from portugal and i know he wold have been proud of me. i am probablly whiter than officer nicholas miller and maureen vergara put to gether i havemore white in me than any other white person i know im ixed with pourtugess german irish french and dutch i bet they dont have as much in them. when officer iller ffered me some beef jerkey he rminded me of this white guy i nkew when i live in g he was a realy sweet guy he even gave me a ride to the bus station. i guess he was a one of a kind. i didnt get hisumber bc i was moving to ny. when miller smiled at me he looked just like him and now when i seewhite pplthey ook just like n.miller.anywayz thats bee on my min a littlebit.plust yesterday i found ut there was more to my case than i thought.i talked to another lawyer i really hopehe takes both of my cases i really do. i mean i really really do. i tired of looking and i think he would do it anyway.he told me what t do which is another long and hard mission i have to compleet in a day.sometimes i day dream aboutt he final day in court with the judge will let them have it.i want real justice. i day dream that on the last day of courti will tell him and the other officers xactly how i feel and the judge wll let me do it.anywayz this doesnt seem like a good day but it can only get better right?