A Week of Goodbye - Day 8
Ugh. Just...UGH!
Yesterday was supposed to be moving day for our 3 1/2 y/o FD. We talked about her new family, about how they were excited for her to move in with them, and about how their daughter was sick but once she was better, we were all going to help her move.
I kept waiting in the morning for an updated timeline for the move. Finally checked in with our agency SW around 10a and she said she couldn't get in touch with the new family. She checked back with me by text after noon, still no contact. On my way to pick up my FD at school at 4:45p, we get the dreaded text message: the family fell through. There is nowhere for our FD to go and today is the last day of our 7-day (really, 10-day) notice. They asked us to keep her one more night while they scrambled for respite for the next day.
The mix of emotions I'm feeling is overwhelming...
-I'm angry that the prospective family didn't clearly communicate their concerns and left us all guessing for an entire week when our FDs social workers could have been finding her another placement.
-I'm frustrated with the county SW for not helping our agency SW find a placement. I'm also frustrated with our agency SW for allowing herself to be bullied by the county SW into forcing us into a 10-day notice when she had no intention of moving her on the 10th day.
-I resent that the county SW hid so much of our FD's challenges from us, and we accepted a placement of a kiddo with behaviors and needs that we already knew our family couldn't handle. We were then forced to try and make it work or cause another disruption in her life. This put our family's health and safety in jeopardy, and added one more traumatic experience in our FD's life story.
-I feel guilty that I'm not willing to extend her placement...again. But when would it end? We already offered a 14 day notice...then a 7 day notice...then three extra days when the county SW said weekends and day of submission don't count on notices...then an extra day today. They have respite lined up for tonight but no prospects for a LTFC placement. This limbo isn't good for any of us, least of all our FD.
-Most of all, though, my heart breaks for this kiddo. She is a GOOD kid who is working through some challenges that are residual from her bio family. With the right fit - with patient, forgiving, accepting, experienced parents - she can thrive. We can't give that to her, but I know there is someone out there who can. However, I fear that her county SW is going to do the exact same thing she did to us and hide her needs in order to find her a family quickly. And thus, the cycle continues.
I wish I was a person of faith so I could find comfort in the whole "god's plan" thing, but all I see is a broken system that creates brokenness in the children it is supposed to protect.
Ugh
Yesterday was supposed to be moving day for our 3 1/2 y/o FD. We talked about her new family, about how they were excited for her to move in with them, and about how their daughter was sick but once she was better, we were all going to help her move.
I kept waiting in the morning for an updated timeline for the move. Finally checked in with our agency SW around 10a and she said she couldn't get in touch with the new family. She checked back with me by text after noon, still no contact. On my way to pick up my FD at school at 4:45p, we get the dreaded text message: the family fell through. There is nowhere for our FD to go and today is the last day of our 7-day (really, 10-day) notice. They asked us to keep her one more night while they scrambled for respite for the next day.
The mix of emotions I'm feeling is overwhelming...
-I'm angry that the prospective family didn't clearly communicate their concerns and left us all guessing for an entire week when our FDs social workers could have been finding her another placement.
-I'm frustrated with the county SW for not helping our agency SW find a placement. I'm also frustrated with our agency SW for allowing herself to be bullied by the county SW into forcing us into a 10-day notice when she had no intention of moving her on the 10th day.
-I resent that the county SW hid so much of our FD's challenges from us, and we accepted a placement of a kiddo with behaviors and needs that we already knew our family couldn't handle. We were then forced to try and make it work or cause another disruption in her life. This put our family's health and safety in jeopardy, and added one more traumatic experience in our FD's life story.
-I feel guilty that I'm not willing to extend her placement...again. But when would it end? We already offered a 14 day notice...then a 7 day notice...then three extra days when the county SW said weekends and day of submission don't count on notices...then an extra day today. They have respite lined up for tonight but no prospects for a LTFC placement. This limbo isn't good for any of us, least of all our FD.
-Most of all, though, my heart breaks for this kiddo. She is a GOOD kid who is working through some challenges that are residual from her bio family. With the right fit - with patient, forgiving, accepting, experienced parents - she can thrive. We can't give that to her, but I know there is someone out there who can. However, I fear that her county SW is going to do the exact same thing she did to us and hide her needs in order to find her a family quickly. And thus, the cycle continues.
I wish I was a person of faith so I could find comfort in the whole "god's plan" thing, but all I see is a broken system that creates brokenness in the children it is supposed to protect.
Ugh
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