a way out!
Bad feelings, I want out. Cant deal with the alone, sadness. I am heavy in heart, feel death. Bad thoughts coming in my head. I told my husband I was thinking about suicidal thoughts. He said it was my depression, bipolar. He said what ever "they"call it. I havnt showered in three days. Dont feel healthy. I have been on a diet for a month and only lost 5 lbs. No friends . Stomach hurts. I have been using my vapor cig alot, all day an night. Cant sleep but 2 hours, then wake up. Why is this happening. I want to cry tears but it stops.I might have to tell myhusband to take me to hospital, but he is staying away from me. I cant tell myhusband nothing, he dosnt understand. No one does, not anyone. I am ugly. I in really am. No hope for this old lady.
Replies
hi, you really need to get to a doctor one way or another. It\'s probably worth posting on the main board or the crisi centre, I\'m on another continent and things are very different here - others in the US may have better advice
1 (800) 273-8255. Suicide hot line in case you need to talk to someone now
Are you on medications? If so what kinds? Some antidepressants can cause mania an severe suicidal thoughts if someone who is bipolar is taking them. FYI
I am so sorry you are having a hard time. I wish I had the answers
Why are you having a hard time? What are you feeling? Do you know what is causing these depressed moods?
My husband is the same he doesn\'t want to have to deal with anything. Awful
It must be hard to feel what you are feeling right now
What has helped you cope in the past while under stress?
Finding heathy coping is key.
Oh and fyi if you are loosing sleep that can push you into a manic state and cause delusions and really warp reality. You need to seek medical attention now if you are not getting sleep. My mom was institutionalized for weeks because she had bipolar manic depression and didn\'t sleep and lost control. Happened a few tjm e s till the doc got her meds correct for her. She took lithium and Thorazine to sleep at night
I\'m sorry to hear you are struggling right now. I know that when I\'m in this state my husband makes me feel anxious because he gets angry because he doesn\'t know what to do. Please call the number if you need to. And do you have a psychiatrist and or therapist you can call? Please know you\'re not alone and people do care. Go to the er if you need to. ((((Hugs))))
Sweety, you are not alone, you are loved, and we are here whenever you want or need to talk. Bi-polar can so cause so much doubt, pain, unhappiness, and feeling\'s of ugliness and self doubt. Please believe me when I say you are a beautiful person with a lot to give!!! Much love and hugs. GB
Angie - we have all been through this. Unfortunately, this is what Bipolar is all about. You need to hang on, this will pass even though it doesn\'t feel like it.
Going to a phosp is not a bad idea. I\'ve been in 3...and I always get help and I leave having better control of my life. They could adjust your meds so that you don\'t have to go through this again. Once you\'re stabilized, it\'s helpful to join a support group. There you can talk to other Bipolars and get advice, understanding and compassion.
You\'re not ugly and you\'re not an old lady. Depression will make you think all sorts of bad things that are not true. Don\'t fall for it.
Angie - please think about a short term hospital stay to stop your pain and depression.
You are loved by many here on DS. We all want you to get better.
Hugs to you honeybun.
Hi Angie,
Please Angie call your pdoc, call your local crisis number, or go to the ER any door you want but get some medical help....
I can only echo what others have said....please Angie take this seriously and do something to help yourself....You are cared about a great deal around here! Be good to yourself sweetie....
My husband said for me to go back a med I was on a month ago when i stopped it but it makes my neck shake. My doc didnt notice it an hes a new one. The hospital he works out of my husband wont take me there, he says that, cause hes a emt an its not good for physc patients. I have been in hospitals 11 times in padt 11 years. An they just drug me up an send me home. Michigan dosnt care very much for the mentally ill very well. So I have to wait till my next appointment, which is in February. It sucks being ill in Michigan. And the Nami association isnt very close by. Its over 100 miles away. Not much help here.
You\'re not ugly Angie, please try not to think that way. Contact your doc asap and you can always post here for support. Hang in there and big hugs to you.
HEy Angie you are not alone. You are NOT ugly or worthless or any of that. I too hate BP it lies to us and tells us these terrible things about ourselves that others dont see. Only we see and believe these things. I want you to keep talking to us here on DS . Is there a friend or family you could call on the phones as well? You are not alone. I hope you know that. HUgs Angie.