A week
It has been a week since my fight with the youngest. Feel like I have gone no where. I woke up at 4am with just a panic attack as I know we are going to have to fight again. I hate confrontations and after my fight with my mom they scare me so badly that the relationship will die like it did with her. It just destroyed me losing my mom. Don't think I can handle losing one of my kids. They've been my life for 25 years.
I finally fell back asleep for about 30 minutes and had a beautiful dream where I just walked up to my son and told him I expected him to fill out one job application a week. He just smiled and me and said ok. I woke up no longer panicing, but so so so so so sad that it wasn't real. It felt like it actually happened, one of those types of dreams and my beautiful kind boy was there and just agreeing to follow the rules and work on growing up.
I want my dream so badly and not the fight I know is coming again very soon.
I finally fell back asleep for about 30 minutes and had a beautiful dream where I just walked up to my son and told him I expected him to fill out one job application a week. He just smiled and me and said ok. I woke up no longer panicing, but so so so so so sad that it wasn't real. It felt like it actually happened, one of those types of dreams and my beautiful kind boy was there and just agreeing to follow the rules and work on growing up.
I want my dream so badly and not the fight I know is coming again very soon.
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