A Visit with My Brother

Saturday, May 16, 2009 - 5:15 PM It seems as though it has been several weeks since I have written anything here, but I know it has not been that long. A number of things have been happening in my life, which has kept me away, but none of them is too earth shattering.   The most positive thing I can say that happened during the past week is that my brother drove down from Boulder to see me on Thursday. He was here for nearly four hours. During that time, we exchanged remembrances about our lives both as children and as adults.   There were many instances when I felt that Lee had forgotten things that occurred in his childhood. (I had to remind him about them.) As an "amateur psychologist,” I feel that he has blocked them out of his memory. Since we were getting along so well, I decided not to push him too hard, but to leave that for the professionals.   At one point, things got close to being somewhat touchy. Lee wanted to know how many times he had been angry with me during the ten and a half years I have lived here. I said there were at least five times that I could remember. He then told me not to feel sorry for myself. All of that came in response to a statement I made to him about him having a temper just like our mother. He was not happy hearing that.   He went through the story of how he had been arrested on a second charge of driving under the influence, and the sentence that he had received for that. He expressed gratitude to me for caring enough to ask about it.   Lee wanted to ask me a few things about what I like to do now, as compared to what I enjoyed in the past. He seemed to have some difficulty in asking me about this, but I told him to "quit sputtering" and come straight out and ask me. He said that he was happy to hear me say that.   On Monday morning, we are both scheduled to meet with Dale, my mental health therapist, and Dr. Martin, my psychologist. I feel that my brother is actually looking forward to that. As for me, I am becoming bored with the whole situation. I still do not believe that this is helping me overcome my depression very much. In spite of that, I am not ready to throw in the towel.