a slight relapse
ok so im doing fine in general got a cold and i shouldnt be up so late but whatever.So today I started to get the bad thoughts slipping back into my mind early in the day and some other memories and stuff as the day went on. I havent given into them nor do I plan on it but ive become a little more cautious due to them. also some of them have become more explicit and in fantasies i would not typically allow, which bothers me the most.i think it might also be part of a test from God to see where I stand on it, if ill cave in . . . again or if ill will outlast it and if i do for how long. but i also think it has just as much to do with how my brain is currently wired and i need to focus on rewiring back into the proper which will take time but with God on my side i can only fail if i allow myself to.