A Simple Touch

It has been so long since I have felt anything other that a quick peck or a brush up against hubby as we lay side by side in our bed.

With everything all stirred up again this is almost always on my mind.  I have decided I need and want more. I have never physically cheated on hubby and I will not do that.  I am at the point  I do need to explain that I believe things are beyond repair and we are both unsatisfied and unhappy.

I want to light up someone's face when I enter a room (as he would mine)...to get goosebumps at the mere touch of their hand (anticipating what is to come) I have never experienced that. Never before did I think I deserved to be so happy.  Now it has almost become a mission for me to find this.

My only concern is that , even though I want this so badly, maybe it is just not in the cards for me.  I do believe everything happens for a reason...in God and his plan for each of us.....and unanswered prayers because they are not what he has in mind for us.   In theback of my mind I do have a fear that God may feel I don't deserve this.   (Old habits die hard....so easy to go back to the negative...I do have to stop that.)