A scary week.
I had a scary week, and through it I realized that my two living children still need me. My sweet Colleen is in heaven now, with Jesus, and I need to focus more on my living children.
My older daughter, Melany, had a bad break-up with her boyfriend of 2 years. She was devastated, and all the negative things of her past just came back to her again. She seriously concidered suicide, and I tried my best to talk her out of it. She seems much better now, but I also know that she hides her feelings inside her. She is studying through correspondance, and her examns are about a week away. She hadn't been studying at all this past week, and I'm afraid that, if she fails her examns, it could just be the last straw to push her over the edge!
My friend and I have started to pray together, every night at 10 pm, about all these negative situations. God alone can help Melany now! My best is just not enough to help Melany anymore. And I just can't loose another child!
This week showed me that my living children need me badly! Colleen is safe with Jesus, now I have to focus on the living ones. Melany has been mixing with the wrong friends, and has been to the pub drinking every night this past week. I just don't know how to handle this situation anymore!
My older daughter, Melany, had a bad break-up with her boyfriend of 2 years. She was devastated, and all the negative things of her past just came back to her again. She seriously concidered suicide, and I tried my best to talk her out of it. She seems much better now, but I also know that she hides her feelings inside her. She is studying through correspondance, and her examns are about a week away. She hadn't been studying at all this past week, and I'm afraid that, if she fails her examns, it could just be the last straw to push her over the edge!
My friend and I have started to pray together, every night at 10 pm, about all these negative situations. God alone can help Melany now! My best is just not enough to help Melany anymore. And I just can't loose another child!
This week showed me that my living children need me badly! Colleen is safe with Jesus, now I have to focus on the living ones. Melany has been mixing with the wrong friends, and has been to the pub drinking every night this past week. I just don't know how to handle this situation anymore!
Replies
I hear you with my whole heart darling and this is where I find myself as well. I have a son whom I dearly love still here on earth having his human experience. I am just now, truly, 100%, capable of being his mom again. This is my greatest gift and responsibility at this time in my life.
I\'m so very sorry for the struggles your sweet Melany has had to face and overcome. Kala suffered severe depression for about 4 years and it nearly destroyed her. She ended up in a hospital psych ward for 6 weeks. It was a very scary time indeed. Thankfully, she got the help she needed and her life turned around completely...and I mean COMPLETELY!
My son battled drug addiction, serious addiction, beginning after Kala\'s accident and ending with a 20 year prison sentence. THANKFULLY he never went to prison, but has been in and out of our county jail for the past 5 years. He\'s out of chances with probation violations and if he messes up one more time, it\'s prison for the duration of his sentence. So far, it appears his life is on the right pathway.
I share all of this to say this one simple, hard, truth....we cannot control what happens to our children or what they bring on themselves. I think the saying goes, \"we didn\'t cause it, we can\'t control it, and we can\'t cure it\". When we accept this, we move into the energy of doing what we can do. For me, that is to release as much of the negative energy as possible and to continue taking care of ME, the one thing/person I can control. I had to reach a place where I knew I would be OK if the worst of the worst happened a second time. I pray with my whole being I never bury my son. But I know if that darkest of days comes, I can and I will survive. Others here have proven it possible. Doesn\'t mean it won\'t \"kill\" me....just as losing Kala did....but I have to know that no matter what happens during my human experience, I will survive it until I cross into the infinite LIGHT.
My thoughts and prayers for your Melany to truly SEE herself as the amazing, wonderful, and capable woman she is and to find her inner peace and strength and determination to conquer her demons and create a bright and magnificent future.
Hang in there sweet lady!
The 3 C\'s that Teri shared are the first words that I heard in an Al-Anon meeting and they bring comfort to me daily. They are powerful and put the emphasis back on each of us where we do have some semblance of control.
I\'m so sorry about Melany and hope that she can make the choices that she needs to live her life in the healthiest way possible. May some earth angels grace her path as that is my daily prayer for my loved ones and it\'s been truly amazing how my prayers have been heard and answered. In ways that I could not imagine...
Prayer is powerful so that is a beautiful way of turning worry into something with an intention for positive change. Grateful you have a prayer partner and someone to share your heart with.
Gentle care to you and the most positive thoughts for your daughter, Melany.
Heartfelt (((hugs)))
XO Joanie
I send my prayers for your Melany... love ya!
Losing a child is all consuming...it sucks the life out of you for a while...and periodically after that...I think that anytime we can focus on others it helps us. And while helps you, YOU help others. United prayers for your precious daughter...love and hugs for you...Karen
Blessings and prayers for you and for Melany.
Gentle Hugs, Bonnie