A Sad Family Story
It was not a very good weekend. My youngest brother who was estranged from most of the family moved back here in 2005 and we were all trying to get along. I thought it was going well until last week. When my dad died, he left us some money and as it turns out, my brother blew through all of it, with the help of his greedy wife of course. She got a boob job. He has two little boys. He moved back here, I gathered because he was running out of money..you think he would get a job....oh no. Well, he sent an e-mail out to all his friends looking for money, I got it by accident, as he quickly sent me an e-mail stating he made a mistake. Well, a couple of days later, I got an e-mail from him asking for money...saying he was going to bounce checks, had to pay rent, electric/gas bill, etc. I responded that I was not in a position right now to lend him money and that I would help out with the kids. Well, because neither my stepmother or I would give him money. He sent me a succession of e-mails telling me that I am a bad Aunt, to rot in hell, go fuck myself, he forbid me to see his children, etc. He even brought my husband into things to make me more upset. He even told his own mother to go fuck herself and called her a fucking bitch. Of all people, her! She is the sweetest woman you could ever meet and had on several occasions gave him money. You may think i was mean in not giving him money, but if I did, he would think the well would never go dry and straighten himself out. It is not anyone's responsibility to take care of his family but his. He is 35 years old, healthy and very smart ( but no common sense) He needs to work and earn money instead of depending on others. I am feeling bad and depressed that it has come to this. I just have to forget about him and at this point, I never want to see him again. I have other brothers, no sisters. I guess life goes on. Thanks all for listening, I tried to make a long story short, but needed to vent. You all have a good day.
Replies
Sweetie I am so sorry for all the problems you and your family are having. I will keep you in my thoughts.
I am sorry to hear this, every family has someone like this! My cousin is the same way and the same age go figure!
i don\'t think you are mean by not giving him money....i have a lot i could say about that, but i just better keep my mouth shut.....sometimes it is healthy to break off relationships for a time, even though it is hard painful....
thanks for sharing your heart! sending you love!
MJ,I\'m sending you a message,it wont be short lol.(HUGS)
MJ,I\'m sending you a message,it wont be short lol.(HUGS)
MJ,I\'m sending you a message,it wont be short lol.(HUGS)
Oh sweet Marie--you did the right thing and it\'s so incredibly sad that these family things happen. There is enough chaos in the world that we just don\'t need this too. Heather was right, seems there is always someone in the family that has qualities that make us wonder how we are even related. I hope he can get himself back on his feet so he can take care of his family. That is his job, not yours. You are in my thoughts, Taters
You did the right thing, not giving him any money. He needs to learn to stand on his own two feet already. I feel sorry for his kids but that is not your responsibility. You have your own family that has to come first. That\'s what he needs to do. Instead of blowing the money he shud have saved it for his family and bills. He needs a good kick in the butt. Luv ya. Sue
Hi Marie! super big comforting hugs! angel, you all are in our thoughts and prayers. god bless you all. Always here for you my friend. We wish you all the very best. :)
You did the right thing by not giving your brother money. I have someone in my family like this also, and if I dont help, well they get mad...I finally put my foot down and you know what?? This person no longer bothers me at all.Yes, I often think of her, but at least she isnt calling asking for help anymore...I do not need this now...I have always been there for anyone, but you know what?? Now I am finally thinking of hubby and I!!! Oh I still am there for friends and family, but when it comes to someone always asking for a handout, well,this is no longer a story for me.. Stick to your guns!! HUGS
OH I understand this too well. My husband\'s family owes us - let\'s see - about $10,000 combined. No more. Now they don\'t ask anymore becuase they know we wont\' give it until they pay back what they have already borrowed. They have been mad at us too in the past and you know what. Tough shit. You don\'t work hard and bust your butt to support them. They can work just as hard and make just as much as you if they wanted. I get so mad. They should be embarrassed to ask in the first place but then to be nasty about it pisses me off. Believe me my husband\'s family isn\'t too thrilled with me because I usually am the one that says no and even when I don\'t husband blames it on me. The last time his dad wanted money to start a business I told hubby to take it out of hs own money. I\'m sick of supporting their finances that go no where. For instance his mother had a car that needed repair. We spent $2,000 having it fixed so she could continue to use it. Then what. She doesn\'t make the payments and it gets repossessed. $2,000 for nothing! Same with his brother. He fixed his car...cost about $2,000 never told me because he tought I would be mad which I am...and then his brother ran the car into the ground (didn\'t do any upkeep) and got rid of it a few months later. Amazing. It\'s like taking money and throwing it down the toilet. Honestly if they were using it wisely it would be ok but they aren\'t they just throw it down the drain with no respect and then act pissed off at me the next time when I say no...and with good cause. The other thing was his mother wanted to do a fancy roof on her house wanted us to pay. I said no way. She got pissed. Of course 3 months later they were living somewhere else. Can you imagine? It\'s horrendous. At least his brother comes here and makes us dinner and helps around the house with repairs, etc. to try to make up for what he owes. The rest of them we don\'t hear from...and as far as his dad the money came out of his personal 401K not my money at all. I\'m not going to work my ass off to support them. If they are that bad they can send me the bill and I will pay it, but I\'m not handingout money. Half the time they don\'t use it to pay the bills that are the big issue. I feel sorry for you. I know it is hard to be the \"bad one\" all the time. But you are not. He needs to hit rock bottom so he can get his life on track. To spend all that money on a boob job when you have other bills is bullcrap. I have nothing against plastic surgery, but fund it yourself for goshsakes! Family is tough. They can really be a letdown. We cannot choose our family unfortunately. All you can do is pray for him that he gets his life together. I have very little family on my side but they can be dissapointing too. Never hear from them. Rarely visit, etc. It\'s sad really.
oh and I forgot to mention the time we had to send $1,800 in an emergency because his mother got scammed and they shut off her bank account. Not only was it $1,800 to get her account back, it was $100 to send a express money line to her! We\'ve seen about $300 back on that mess.
Awww That stinks having to go through that! I know it\'s hard when it\'s family... My son who i didn\'t raise came up to live with us at 17 and it was from hell! But that\'s all i\'ll say about it but I do understand and have been there myself...