a sad day

Today marks 5 months since I found out that the doc was having trouble finding a heart beat....It was no confirmed until may 22nd, but in my heart I knew that things weren't good the day they did the initial u/s.  It is also strange that the day I found out my baby had no heart beat I was 8 weeks 4 days, that's what I am today....5 months later to the day...I am 8 weeks 4 days.  Its hard to think that already almost half a year has gone bye.  I can't help but think that I should be 30 weeks this week.  I should be preparing for my little chistmas baby.  I will put up a special angel this christmas on my tree foy my special angel.