A Roller Coaster Ride

Thursday, January 21, 2010 - 10 AM   This will be just a brief entry before I go to see my doctor this morning. I'm still trying to get back into the habit of writing something every day, but this has become somewhat more difficult than it used to be.   Once again, I have begun having problems with my home healthcare agency. They had some difficulties finding a replacement for my one CNA who went on maternity leave. The person they finally did find turned out to be extremely good. The only problem there was the fact that she wants to work in the mornings, rather than at nighttime.   Shortly before Christmas, they managed to find a young man to take over the open nighttime slot. That worked fine for two weeks, but then he had to quit because he also worked for the UPS and did not have enough time to help me before going to the second job.   After Christmas, he returned here to help me again, but as things turned out that did not work out well. Last week, he did not show up here two nights, and did not notify the office of that situation. When he finally did show up, he seemed entirely out of it, and acted just like a zombie. There was one night last week when the CNA who works with him found him in his truck sound asleep.   Things started out much better this week. He was here, looked wide-awake and alert, and appeared to be making a real attempt at getting things back together in his life. That seems to have ended last night. He failed to show up once again without notifying either the home healthcare agency or me.   I had been reluctant to say anything to the home healthcare agency prior to today because I thought he had been friends with the first CNA who also helped me at nighttime. When he did not show up last night, I said something to her about that, and she said they worked together at another place, but they were not friends. She also said that she had been waiting for me to do something in regard to him. We were working -- or not -- at cross-purposes.   I did call the home healthcare agency this morning and spoke with the director of staffing about the situation. She said the first CNA had already talked to her earlier today. I said if that was the case then I did not feel that I needed to go into any detail. I was told that they are going to try and find someone else to take over that position. She mentioned another CNA who already helps me during the mornings and said that she would try and get her to work at night as well. I will be very pleased if she can bring that about, but I do not think that will happen.   To make matters somewhat more complicated, neither of my morning CNAs showed up last Sunday morning to get me up. Someone from the agency called me Sunday morning to advise me that one of my CNAs was not able to come here, but another one would, and she gave me the name of that person. I advised her that the person she named did not want to work on weekends and that I was quite sure she would not be here. We argued about that to a certain extent and she said that she would call me and let me know.   A few minutes later, the phone rang and that person told me that someone else was coming to get me up. It just goes to show that I do know what I'm talking about sometimes. I told her that if they followed my doctor's orders, there would not be any problems. We exchanged a few more words before hanging up. I talked to her again twice that afternoon about the situation. During the last phone call, I said that I wanted to apologize for being rude earlier in the day. She said that it not been the case at all, and that if she had been in my position, she would have been upset as well.   In addition to all of this, something else has been going on involving my PCP who does all the cooking and cleaning for me. He has asked if he could stay here one night on the weekends. He had been staying with a friend of his until they were involved in an automobile accident two days before Christmas. I have written about that in a previous entry.   For the first couple of weeks, I let him stay here one night a week. Last week that was increased to two nights. I feel that it worked out well considering the fact that he was willing to give me additional help as a means of repaying me for letting him stay here.   He now wants to stay here each weekend. I had no problem with that until this past week when the woman who he also stays with during the week, said that she wanted him to stay here on Thursday and Friday nights rather than on Friday and Saturday. I told both of them that that would not be convenient for me. He told the woman that since things were going well on the weekends that she should leave it to the two of us to work out.   Last night the phone rang and it was him calling to ask me if he could stay tonight and Friday. He said that he was having problems with the woman with whom he is staying. Being caught off-guard, I quickly said yes, in part because I was on the telephone with my sister.   During the night, I checked through some old notes I found on the kitchen table, and one of them was written by the woman who is his friend. That was a note she had written and passed to him earlier in the week where she said she wanted him to stay here Thursday and Friday. I need to have a talk with him about what is really going on here, and to remind him that this is my apartment and I am the one who gets to say when he can and cannot stay here. I need to make sure that he is not using me.   I am leaving shortly to go see my primary care physician. There is nothing wrong with me that I am aware of (other than a broken tooth), but this appointment has been scheduled for more than a month. I have made a list of things to talk with him about. There is nothing of any major importance, but there are a few things that were not covered the last time I saw him.   My life now seems to be one big roller coaster ride, and that is not a good thing.    

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I was just thinking about how life is like surfing or riding a wave. A roller-coaster works too.

Jim, I know these things going on are probably really getting to you but I want to remind you how much better you seem. Sometimes it\'s hard to see that in ourselves. It was not too long ago that you were afraid to speak to anyone about CNA issues. Now you seem to be an expert at working out these problems. I sure do wish you didn\'t have to worry about them at all but life seems to give us the opposite of what we need sometimes.

I really hope the weekend thing with the CNA works out for you. It seems like such an ideal situation (if things work out.) You help him and he helps you. I agree with you wholeheartedly that you do need to ensure you are maintaining boundaries. I don\'t really understand why the other CNA cares at all whether he stays with you or not. It is you and he who are impacted the most. Can you find out why she wants that? Maybe then she\'ll understand it isn\'t even about her.

Please continue to exercise and develop your boundary-setting skills. I\'m doing the same. It\'s not easy. I hope that we can both get better at looking after ourselves and being our own advocates. I\'ll bet you are a pro at advocating for others. I\'m glad you are using that for yourself. You definitely know what you are talking about.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Sam is so sweet and so diplomatic.
For me, I think you are too nice when it involves your heath care agency employees.
Just the unsettling feelings you must get because of the somewhat erratic dependability of these employees would put anyone on a roller coaster ride.
By all means speak up to administration about your concerns.
You are dependent on these people. You have a right to good and consistent health care.
It could just be me, but there is something off concerning that male aid.
You always know the right thing to do.
Sometimes you may be just a little too polite until you remember that you always knew what was right for you all along.
Then you take steps to make sure you get it.

This will all work out in time. I have complete faith in your problem solving ability.


Keep in mind that is is best to put yourself first and foremost.
CoolGal
CoolGal

Hi Jim Seems like never a dull moment with your CNA\'S. If anything all of this will keep you an your toes and keep your life interesting anyway. Hang in there with all of this CNA stuff. What can you do you need them after all.Many Hugs-Stephanie
deleted_user
deleted_user

You could write a CNA Soap Opera!
deleted_user
deleted_user

wow, talk about crossing personal boundaries, home health aide is tops for doing that arent they? and you could totally write a CNA soap opera!
deleted_user
deleted_user

What they said...

Getting caught up.

Hugs and Mojo
Weebs