A Reflection
Dearest DS Sisters,
I have been reflecting lately on my place here on DS, and to be quite frank I have been thinking about dropping off. I have been feeling, like Beth said that I have been trying to “build a wall around my heart”. It has been so difficult to watch so many wonderful women fall victim to this horrendous disease. The first one that hit me hard was Julie. All of you may not have known her. She Passed about a year and one half ago. Julie was 40 years old and she had a 9 year old little boy. It was then I started asking myself, why her and not me? She had a little boy to raise. My children are grown. Since then there have been too many too mention. Of late of course there was Lindamae and now Inka. I guess what I have been feeling is survivor’s guilt. I was talking to my cousin over the weekend and telling her how I feel. She said maybe you were saved to help other people through their journey, giving them hope, understanding and support. It was as Oprah would say, “an aha moment”. My brother said something similar. His was more of the spiritual nature. I think also what Inka would have said to me. She would have pressed me to go on lending my support. Of course, I am not Inka. I do not have her knowledge nor her way with words that have always helped to calm and ease. She would seek out newcomers and welcome them into the fold. She was a very special person.
So my sisters, I will remain on DS, lending my support when and where I can. Simple as it may be. I hope I can be of some help.
Lindaheff, you are in my thoughts and prayers everyday.
Thanks for reading
Anita
I have been reflecting lately on my place here on DS, and to be quite frank I have been thinking about dropping off. I have been feeling, like Beth said that I have been trying to “build a wall around my heart”. It has been so difficult to watch so many wonderful women fall victim to this horrendous disease. The first one that hit me hard was Julie. All of you may not have known her. She Passed about a year and one half ago. Julie was 40 years old and she had a 9 year old little boy. It was then I started asking myself, why her and not me? She had a little boy to raise. My children are grown. Since then there have been too many too mention. Of late of course there was Lindamae and now Inka. I guess what I have been feeling is survivor’s guilt. I was talking to my cousin over the weekend and telling her how I feel. She said maybe you were saved to help other people through their journey, giving them hope, understanding and support. It was as Oprah would say, “an aha moment”. My brother said something similar. His was more of the spiritual nature. I think also what Inka would have said to me. She would have pressed me to go on lending my support. Of course, I am not Inka. I do not have her knowledge nor her way with words that have always helped to calm and ease. She would seek out newcomers and welcome them into the fold. She was a very special person.
So my sisters, I will remain on DS, lending my support when and where I can. Simple as it may be. I hope I can be of some help.
Lindaheff, you are in my thoughts and prayers everyday.
Thanks for reading
Anita
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