A really bad day

The fatigue is so bad today.  Just typing in this journal is taking all the energy that I have.  I still have to go finish dinner for my boyfriend.  My boyfriend who is tries to help in every way that he can and is wonderfully understanding about every thing but his not having a job and all the bills falling on me is not helping my anxiety.  I can't miss a day of work or we won't have enough money to cover all our bills and his cigarettes.  I smoke too (I know that is bad but even my doctor doesn't even bitch at me about it with every thing else going on) but he smokes twice as much as I do and trying to keep him and me in cigs and groceries.  He is also suppose to be painting our bedroom but it has been torn up for a week with absolutely nothing done on the room.  I know it has only been a week but he has done nothing but sleep for the whole weekend.  
I have to five tax returns to do that I am suppose to have done by tomorrow but that is not going to happen.  I wasn't going to do any except my own but I still haven't learned how to say no!  I also have to work tomorrow because I have to meet one of our customers to start a new stabilizer bar line so I can't miss the day but feeling like I do now I don't know how I am going to make it.  I just have to do it.  I really wish that this Fibro was deadly and it would take me soon.  I can't afford to go on disabiltiy but working is taking everything out of me.  
Gotta go finish dinner.  They say that writing in a journal is suppose to help but this isn't working.  I guess I just have to keep trying just like I have to keep moving every day whether I feel like it or not.