A Realization
I was laying in bed early this morning (after binging on a tv show) and of course then the mind continues to race. I started to think about the repeated course I continue to go on. I have things to do. There are big things, then there are smaller things, things important for my health and well being, and other things like just making things easier and more organized.
After the procrastinating, I decided to make a decision to always do something. It's far easier to do small stuff. I realize that when it comes to something big, I will stop and go grab something to eat. I think it may be because I am afraid I can't do it or won't do it right. HOW DO I GET PAST THE FEAR OF FAILURE???
Why is it hard for me to stay strong and move forward to do what I can and find what I need .? I think part of it may be because I am feeling I am on my own again with no one to stand up for me or help when I need it. My insurance broker originally assigned to me was always right there with a text or call to set up a follow up. But the end of last year her company was bought out by another and she kept saying how great it would be because there are so many more companies and options. (I think they now have her just with new clients so I am back to square one.) I have a good plan set up , but want to get more help with a better dual plan since my income is almost non existent right now.
I'm going to apply for aid with energy as well. We will see what comes of it.
Replies
There are alot of state and federal programs available to help low income people.... Check with your State's department of Human Services. There is free fuel, free electricity, free doctors, free food and more!
I change the way I look at failure. If I failed at something then it taught me a lesson...which is....how not to do it again!...among other things. So what I generally do now, is leave it up to my Higher Power and everything will work out.
Hi Kim, I understand that feeling of being alone....and nobody to help you.
In my state the maximum to get some help is less than what I made in just SS payments. Like Medicaid....my state never expanded medicaid....so the limits are very strict....I do not qualify now since I am over 65 too....I used to qualify for ticket to work but at 65 that stopped...I also do not qualify for food stamps or EBT benefits and those are tied to medicaid amounts too.....
I have stopped looking for free benefits entirely when it comes to daily living....but a free meal on my birthday Hell Yes....LOL
I do not have a problem paying the standard bills but now car insurance is so damn high I might need to rethink having a car that requires collision insurance.....that is killer in my case....I am paying about $5K per year for car insurance I think....it is only offered in six month policy so they can jack it every six months....and car insurance has risen 50% since pandemic....it it inflation or gouging?
I do not take food from food bank any more since I inherited over $100K I felt that food was for those who have nothing.
I put that money into my house....I paid cash and paid cash in most cases to fix it up....then I took a reverse mortgage in need to have money when I was laid off after accident and still was living beyond my means.....now again I am laid off but I have almost taken everything I had available on my reverse mortgage line of credit. My car has a big $13K owed still on it but I refinanced it to lower interest rate and less monthly payments.....
I track my money....like sherlock holmes tracks criminals....LOL
I may run into problems but for now my hope is I do not live long enough to see those problems in my much later years.....I can solve problems at my current age.....but getting older sucks.....as does not having another person who shares with and you can make decisions together with....
Thank you both. Bob you are right, and I have learned from my mistakes. Bill, you are right, growing old alone (not just because of companionship, but also because of support, opinion, input with such major decisions. )sucks too.
I was trying (with the financial planner) to get my ducks in a row and do what I could with the amt of money I do have so I may be able to go to a retirement community and live safely and happily among others my age.. I like to be around people I never realized just how expensive it is to do that and that the only thing you may get financial help from insurance is when you are too far gone and HAVE to be in a nursing home .
They advise you to save enough to live for another 20 years , I won't last that long and want to try to enjoy what time I have left. I worked my entire life, now I am not going to live in squalor (until I have to. lol) just to extend my meager funds to hand over to the kids.(who already have more money than God. lol)
My lease here is for the rest of this year. It may be steep, but I am very comfortable, safe and content for now and that's what matters.
you do not remember me talking about mom moving to assisted living retirement community cause if you did you would have not considered that.....her appt one bedroom very small on first floor with the nursing staff doing meds and other things,,...they did laundry they cooked all meals for everyone.....that place was over $6000 per month.....Mom lived there to the end and it was about 18 or more months.....but Dad was a money hoarder.....he put money away like I spend money.....so she had a house that was paid for and enough to live in that place longer than she did....her house sold for as a fixer upper over $600K....my sisters were the one's taking all that in stride....I just sat back and let them handle it all....
These life decisions can be very difficult to make. Sometimes I get myself upset for the little things. I just cleaned two bathrooms this afternoon and now have to sit down and allow my nerve injury thing to calm down. I tend to make lists of things to do. And cross off what I accomplish. But sometimes I really push myself. My cleaning lady canceled last week, yes I am fortunate to be able to pay a cleaning lady every two weeks. But when she cancels then I find it so painful to do all the cleaning. I have to do small bits at a time. I did not do the large shower in the big bathroom. It just about kills my hip injuries (soft tissue). But if I don't keep it up, it gets scummy, bad scummy. We have hard water. Anyway, VQ, just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You have time to think about things and plan. Many cities have waiting lists for senior housing or even senior/disabled low income housing. You can google senior low income housing and then either your city name or your zip code. Get on the waiting lists. I am talking independent senior living. In the USA, many cities or areas use 211 as their senior services resource call in thing. Often goes with the federal adult senior services department or laws called the triple A or AAA, not the car service.