a proposal many years ago
Jeff-
19 years ago today you proposed to me. We were in the parking lot of the nicest restaurant in Auburn (which isn't saying much! :-) and I was scared to death because I knew what was coming. You had meant to wait until the 4th of July, but then decided you couldn't hold off until the holiday! The fireworks started early that year and sustained us through every year of our marriage after that. I don't know exactly where you are now, but I hope that it is wonderful. It's been a tough adjustment being without you, but I hope I am making you proud and raising the kids how you'd want me to. I bought a car by myself today----the first time in 20 years. I, of course, had to pull out the dreaded death certificate when it came time to process the title. I can't believe I am still having to produce that document so far down the line. I think you picked out the car for us, though---just happened to be the color we were looking for and "gently used", so I avoided the high price tag. I'll use it to take the kids on the float trip next weekend and to the beach in August. There's enough room for all the kids and you, but I suspect you'll be resting in my heart, rather than in the passenger's seat----either one is open for you.
Jeff, thank you for a great marriage and for inspiring me to be the best I can be. I feel tired and inadequate when it comes to relationships with other people, but then I hear you whisper to me that it will all be fine and I just need to relax into my new life. I don't think I'm ready for a new life, but I have made friends on DS who have helped me along the way and I've even gotten to meet some of them in person. I hope I can meet more folks in the year to come. Beyond friendships, I'm glad we had the discussion many times about what we would expect if one of us passed away and the other was left to carry on. I know some people don't get the chance to have that discussion and it makes it tough to know what to do. I'm not sure I'll follow your advice, but at least I know what you would want me to do. You told me that if you died when I was young, you would want me to find someone else---for my sake and for the kids. I'm not sure the poor schmuck who wants to take on 5 kids and 3 stepkids exists, but if he contacts you, let me know :-) I have a feeling if he comes along, he will have been sent by you. I always feel like the good things that come to me now are being sent due to your influence. I don't know if there is any reality in that idea, but it makes me smile just the same.
I love you sweetheart. Thanks for proposing, thanks for having the nerve to walk down the aisle again with me, and thanks for the life we built together. I couldn't have asked for more, other than time. Happy 4th!
Love, 'the wife'
19 years ago today you proposed to me. We were in the parking lot of the nicest restaurant in Auburn (which isn't saying much! :-) and I was scared to death because I knew what was coming. You had meant to wait until the 4th of July, but then decided you couldn't hold off until the holiday! The fireworks started early that year and sustained us through every year of our marriage after that. I don't know exactly where you are now, but I hope that it is wonderful. It's been a tough adjustment being without you, but I hope I am making you proud and raising the kids how you'd want me to. I bought a car by myself today----the first time in 20 years. I, of course, had to pull out the dreaded death certificate when it came time to process the title. I can't believe I am still having to produce that document so far down the line. I think you picked out the car for us, though---just happened to be the color we were looking for and "gently used", so I avoided the high price tag. I'll use it to take the kids on the float trip next weekend and to the beach in August. There's enough room for all the kids and you, but I suspect you'll be resting in my heart, rather than in the passenger's seat----either one is open for you.
Jeff, thank you for a great marriage and for inspiring me to be the best I can be. I feel tired and inadequate when it comes to relationships with other people, but then I hear you whisper to me that it will all be fine and I just need to relax into my new life. I don't think I'm ready for a new life, but I have made friends on DS who have helped me along the way and I've even gotten to meet some of them in person. I hope I can meet more folks in the year to come. Beyond friendships, I'm glad we had the discussion many times about what we would expect if one of us passed away and the other was left to carry on. I know some people don't get the chance to have that discussion and it makes it tough to know what to do. I'm not sure I'll follow your advice, but at least I know what you would want me to do. You told me that if you died when I was young, you would want me to find someone else---for my sake and for the kids. I'm not sure the poor schmuck who wants to take on 5 kids and 3 stepkids exists, but if he contacts you, let me know :-) I have a feeling if he comes along, he will have been sent by you. I always feel like the good things that come to me now are being sent due to your influence. I don't know if there is any reality in that idea, but it makes me smile just the same.
I love you sweetheart. Thanks for proposing, thanks for having the nerve to walk down the aisle again with me, and thanks for the life we built together. I couldn't have asked for more, other than time. Happy 4th!
Love, 'the wife'
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