A project im working on for mother of angels..need help
When I went to lunch with my Grandmother the other day she told me that she had read in the paper that morning that another newborn baby had past away. I just don’t understand why this keeps happening to people. I know when this happened to me I felt so alone and hated everything and everyone because I felt like noone understood and noone knew the pain I was going thru. The hospital that my son was born at was wonderful to me and my family. They treated me like a person rather than just another patient. I didn’t get to walk out he front doors with my son in my arms that Sunday morning like I so badly wanted to. I walked out those front doors with a memory box and he was carried to the morgue. It was a nice box but nothing inside of it made me feel better or took away that alone feeling. It was very sweet of the people who made the boxes for the hospital. Im sure they too are mothers or family members of angels and that is why they took the time to make them for people like us. So I decided that I too wanted to give something to the future mother of angels. On my day off Thursday I plan on shopping and buying things to put in these boxes. I want to add things that might show these mothers and fathers that they are not alone. There are many of us out here that sat in a hospital one day not to long ago holding our angels in our arms and asking the millions questions going thru our head. The biggest question being "why did this happen to me and my baby?. Im looking for idea on what I can put in these boxes to help comfort these parents and show them they are indeed not alone. One thing that I know I want to put in all these boxes is letters from Mothers of angels. I plan on writing a letter and putting it inside for them to read that I went thru the same thing. I would be happy to put any letters that you might want to write to them to go in the box. Everyone is different but in a way we all share the same pain even for a moment. Letters to try to comfort these parents and even if it doesn’t make them feel better at least they can see that they are not alone on this. I don’t know why but I think if I had a letter from a mother of an angel in my box maybe I would have found a little comfort in it and maybe I wouldn’t have but Ill never know. But its something I want to try to try to help. Even if it doesn’t work I will know in m heart at least I tryed.
The letter I plan on putting in box
Dear parent of an Angel,
First and for most I want to send you my love. I am so sorry that you are reading this letter right now because I know the people reading this have just became a parent to an Angel. There are no answers or explanations to why you are here and going thru this. Its sad and painful for anyone to lose a child. I know this because I too have lost a baby. I was 27 weeks along and thought nothing could go wrong at this point but I was wrong. Anything is possible. My son Max Robert David Dawson was born sleeping on January 23rd 2011 at 926 am. He was 1 lb 13 oz and 14 inches long. He was perfect and so beautiful. He was the baby I had always dreamed of and always wanted. I still want him more than anything but I cant have him back and the pain will always be in my heart. I know just how you feel right now. Alone, scared, frustrated, confused, pained, saddened, hurt, angry and have a million questions going thru your head on why me? Why my baby? How does a baby go from being fine and alive inside me one day to being forever asleep in my arms the next? I still ask myself everyday those questions and sadly I will never have an answer. None of us will ever have answer to why us. I know that when I lost m Max my world came to a halt. The world around me continued to go just like nothing had happened and I couldn’t understand why noone felt my pain and hurt. When I walked out of those hospital doors holding a memory box instead of my new born son I felt lost. I thought I would be lost forever. I went home and cried for days. I looked at all the baby things in my sons room and hated that he would never get to enjoy these things. I would never get to see my little boy grow up and I will never get to experience the joys of motherhood with him. I still thought that noone in this world knew how I felt. For that, I started to feel hate towards people. I hated myself for not saving my son. I hated myself for not doing things different when I had the chance. I blamed myself for my sons death. I felt like I was an outcast and was wearing a scarlet letter on my chest for everyone to see that my baby died. I thought people looked at me different, like I had done something wrong. But I hadn’t done anything wrong. My son didn’t die because of me or anything I did. There was nothing the doctors could do to save him. It took me a long time to tell myself this. And it will take you a long time to tell yourself that too. You loved your baby and always will and you did NOTHING wrong. A way of looking at things that has helped me in my grieving is to believe that our angels were sent to us for a certain purpose. We may never really understand it all but we need to go on faith that they were special gifts sent to us to open our eyes to a different world for us. Changes that maybe need to be made or hope that we long ago lost before our babies were even a twinkle in our eyes. I don’t have all the answers you are looking for right now and I will never have all those answers even though I wish I did. All I know is my son changed my life and has made me into a better person today and he taught me to cherish things in my life that I always took for granted.I just want you to know that you are NOT alone and will never be as long as you have faith. I joined a support group of mothers of angels and it has helped me soooo much. They to have all wear the same shoes that you now wear. The same shoes that I will forever wear. The shoes of a mother that lost a child. Its "dailystrengh.org". The woman on here are amazing and have helped me so much in my grieving process. Like I said they too have lost a baby and know just how I feel. We all know just how you feel. I hope you find us someday. We will be waiting with open arms and open hearts to help you.
You are in my prayers always, with love Cortney Mother to Angel Max
If anyone would like to write a letter to add to the box about your beautiful angels I will add anything you have to say to help comfort these new parents of angels. Also any suggestions on what to put in these boxes to help them thru this and show them they are not alone, that we are here for them..thanx so much to everyone on here for being the truelly wonderful woman that you are and thank you for being there for me when I needed you the most and thank you for holding my son in your hearts next to all the other sleeping angels in heaven.. Love Cort
The letter I plan on putting in box
Dear parent of an Angel,
First and for most I want to send you my love. I am so sorry that you are reading this letter right now because I know the people reading this have just became a parent to an Angel. There are no answers or explanations to why you are here and going thru this. Its sad and painful for anyone to lose a child. I know this because I too have lost a baby. I was 27 weeks along and thought nothing could go wrong at this point but I was wrong. Anything is possible. My son Max Robert David Dawson was born sleeping on January 23rd 2011 at 926 am. He was 1 lb 13 oz and 14 inches long. He was perfect and so beautiful. He was the baby I had always dreamed of and always wanted. I still want him more than anything but I cant have him back and the pain will always be in my heart. I know just how you feel right now. Alone, scared, frustrated, confused, pained, saddened, hurt, angry and have a million questions going thru your head on why me? Why my baby? How does a baby go from being fine and alive inside me one day to being forever asleep in my arms the next? I still ask myself everyday those questions and sadly I will never have an answer. None of us will ever have answer to why us. I know that when I lost m Max my world came to a halt. The world around me continued to go just like nothing had happened and I couldn’t understand why noone felt my pain and hurt. When I walked out of those hospital doors holding a memory box instead of my new born son I felt lost. I thought I would be lost forever. I went home and cried for days. I looked at all the baby things in my sons room and hated that he would never get to enjoy these things. I would never get to see my little boy grow up and I will never get to experience the joys of motherhood with him. I still thought that noone in this world knew how I felt. For that, I started to feel hate towards people. I hated myself for not saving my son. I hated myself for not doing things different when I had the chance. I blamed myself for my sons death. I felt like I was an outcast and was wearing a scarlet letter on my chest for everyone to see that my baby died. I thought people looked at me different, like I had done something wrong. But I hadn’t done anything wrong. My son didn’t die because of me or anything I did. There was nothing the doctors could do to save him. It took me a long time to tell myself this. And it will take you a long time to tell yourself that too. You loved your baby and always will and you did NOTHING wrong. A way of looking at things that has helped me in my grieving is to believe that our angels were sent to us for a certain purpose. We may never really understand it all but we need to go on faith that they were special gifts sent to us to open our eyes to a different world for us. Changes that maybe need to be made or hope that we long ago lost before our babies were even a twinkle in our eyes. I don’t have all the answers you are looking for right now and I will never have all those answers even though I wish I did. All I know is my son changed my life and has made me into a better person today and he taught me to cherish things in my life that I always took for granted.I just want you to know that you are NOT alone and will never be as long as you have faith. I joined a support group of mothers of angels and it has helped me soooo much. They to have all wear the same shoes that you now wear. The same shoes that I will forever wear. The shoes of a mother that lost a child. Its "dailystrengh.org". The woman on here are amazing and have helped me so much in my grieving process. Like I said they too have lost a baby and know just how I feel. We all know just how you feel. I hope you find us someday. We will be waiting with open arms and open hearts to help you.
You are in my prayers always, with love Cortney Mother to Angel Max
If anyone would like to write a letter to add to the box about your beautiful angels I will add anything you have to say to help comfort these new parents of angels. Also any suggestions on what to put in these boxes to help them thru this and show them they are not alone, that we are here for them..thanx so much to everyone on here for being the truelly wonderful woman that you are and thank you for being there for me when I needed you the most and thank you for holding my son in your hearts next to all the other sleeping angels in heaven.. Love Cort
Replies
I would love to write a letter. When will you be sending these out? Would you just like me to sit and send it to you on line or would you like them hand written? Are you including anything else in the box? Please message me about it. I would have loved something like this. I was handed an old used box with a few things like his wrist band that was never used, a sample of his hair, some hand and foot prints, (that only a few turned out nice), and 2 poloriod pictures that you could barely make out anything. I would have loved to know about support groups, memorial items and suggestions. The miscarrage pamplet I was given didn\'t help me at all. It mostly talked about first trimester loss and getting pregnant again. I can also croquet and I make jewlery. I would love to help in anyway.
I plan on working on them so they are perfect. Either way handwrritten or on line. It will take awhile to put them together so what ever is your heart that you want to add I can wait. I will prob had write mine so its more of a personal touch and i wasnt sure if I should include any pics of my angel so they can see just how beautiful all angels are including theres. I felt the same way bout the pamphlets. They didnt help me any or give me advise on where I can go to talk to people in my area. The closest one is over an hr drive for me and thats hard in the middle of winter. I just wanted to do something to help parents and give them an option of where to go for support without even leaving there house. I guess in ways its not the same as a personal touch but I know that I didnt want to be around anyone at first and this was the thing I needed most was being on here. I thought to about crocheting little things for the box. In my box was a blue pair of booties someone had made. That was my fav thing in box but Im not very good at it so if you would like to do something like that, that was be awesome.I thought about necklaces to. something with the babies birth stone for the mother to wear close to her heart. i am open to anything. I want these boxes to truelly mean something to these new parents of angels. Thank you so much for wanting to help make this dream of hope for help a reality for all new parents of angels
All of the pamphlets that I recieved had incorrect information! I went online to find a support group and went to the sites that they provided and they were wrong! I think what you are doing is a great idea. I am not sure yet, but I just may send you a letter as well. I think that jewelry would be a good idea, as well as a couple of poems. I know that I have found some poems that have really hit close to my heart.
ifthere are any poems that you would like added just message them to me and I will add them to the boxes. Sometimes a special poem can mean just as much to a persons heart as a letter can.
I agree about the support groups. I think it might be very useful to add in this site, as well as others that are online/are national and have links to support groups in the surrounding area. I was thankfully given the correct information and pamphlets by my hospital. However, like others have said, if the information they received was incorrect, it might be important to have something on the letter directing people to the \'correct\' places too. I also think that in the beginning, somewhere like Dailystrength, is almost more suitable than a face-to-face group. So if you were to put something on the letter about support groups, I think maybe directing them to online places where they can get support, get memory gifts (i.e. sketches of their angels, necklaces, etc etc) would be the best place to start (maybe put a list of about 10 on there - that they can start with at least.) Oh, and I like the poem idea too. I think one of the best is \'My Shoes\' (author unknown):
I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in other\'s eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try to walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so that they don\'t hurt quite so much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.
Anyway, just some ideas.
Sam.
I love the wristbands that my husband and I always wear. The first one I had said \"Forever in our Hearts\" (mine got too loose and stretchy and it fell off somewhere but somehow he still has his on) and the one I have on now says \"Mom of an Angel\". Perhaps you could put a couple of these in each box.