A Prayer

GOD,The thing I value above all else is my faith in You. My trust in You, that You are Almighty, ever-loving God. I want nothing more than the Peace of knowing I'm safe in You, following You and a vessel for Your work.I will fight against everything for this.Give me this faith, give me this trust. Show me how to find it. Prove yourself faithful to me. Redeem me and restore me that I may trust as a child.I will not let this go. If I do, I will die.Lord, what can I do to show my determination and commitment? What must I do to gain this faith? Where must You lead me? I long for an ultimatum, one climactic event to secure this peace in my heart. But I know not what, or how. The days come and go.I want to sell all I have and follow You! I want to leave all behind for You! But that's what started this torment: my ignoring myself in trying to serve You.So I give up. I know not what to do. How can I give myself fully to you?Take this broken heart, broken body, broken soul. What life is left in it, I give to You. The pain, the doubt, the fear. How can I symbolically give it all to you?I will do anything you ask, but I do not know what you desire.Help me, Jesus.