A Poem About 'My Best Friend'

'My Best Friend'
 
The dagger twists deeper into my heart
My blood pours out onto the floor
My vision blurs, my heart stops
Suddenly I can’t find my breath
“Help” I scream
But only you can hear me
      
Laughter radiates in the air
As you settle into our home
A hole in my mind you carved out long ago
Digging your jagged claws in
Whispering, “I missed you”
Forcing Goosebumps down my spine
 
Surrendering my controls,
To the back corner I crawl.
My mind fills with smog
Out comes your magnify glass
Scanning me for impurities
Dissecting me for wrongs
Choking me with remorse
 
I try to make peace with you
But you don’t know how to share
Sucking my blood supply dry
Stealing all my oxygen
Leaving me out to die
 
Despite the neediness
For twenty-two years
You have been my protector
Saving me from unbearable horror movies
And traitorous turmoil
Manifested as one: my body amour and tormenter
 
To repay my debts
I give you permission to
Occupy my space
And steal from me
 
But embracing you
Fixes me in the pain
Keeps the scars fresh
Making me gasp for air
At any resemblance of terror
  
It is my turn yet?
Have you drank me dry?
 
Maybe tomorrow I will break free…