A Personal Choice
I'm just back from shopping and realized something: It's a choice that I've made to remain single. I don't have to do it.
This ephiphany came while shopping, noticing all the couples around me. I'm used to seeing them now, but this time I really took notice. Some seemed happy while others seemed oblivious to each other, talking on the telephone, or picking up items from the shelves. Some people were alone like me--some attractive, some just plain folk. Then there's me paying attention for the first time. I noticed men looking at me. I've lost some weight so I guess I'll have to get used to it. But the thing that struck me is that I've decided not to marry again. I've decided this for my own comfort, yet I was obviously envious of all the couples.
So, maybe I need to consider that I just don't want to bother looking for a life partner. I admitt to hating the idea of getting to know a person. I hate the inevitable religious conversation that must come up. I hate the thought of the guy walking away once he discovers my devotion to God. Living as a Christian just doesn't fit into the 21st century when it comes to relationships. I guess it's just easier to remain alone.
Yet, the decision I'm making now will be what I'll live with in my future. So, tonight, I'll take myself into that future. I'll picture myself there, 74 years old, and alone, and I'll see how I like it. Then I'll do something about it or do nothing at all.
This ephiphany came while shopping, noticing all the couples around me. I'm used to seeing them now, but this time I really took notice. Some seemed happy while others seemed oblivious to each other, talking on the telephone, or picking up items from the shelves. Some people were alone like me--some attractive, some just plain folk. Then there's me paying attention for the first time. I noticed men looking at me. I've lost some weight so I guess I'll have to get used to it. But the thing that struck me is that I've decided not to marry again. I've decided this for my own comfort, yet I was obviously envious of all the couples.
So, maybe I need to consider that I just don't want to bother looking for a life partner. I admitt to hating the idea of getting to know a person. I hate the inevitable religious conversation that must come up. I hate the thought of the guy walking away once he discovers my devotion to God. Living as a Christian just doesn't fit into the 21st century when it comes to relationships. I guess it's just easier to remain alone.
Yet, the decision I'm making now will be what I'll live with in my future. So, tonight, I'll take myself into that future. I'll picture myself there, 74 years old, and alone, and I'll see how I like it. Then I'll do something about it or do nothing at all.
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