A night of disturbed sleep and pain

Good morning journal,the time is 9;26am,I am awake and in my chair once again,for the moment anyway.Last night was a night of very disturbed sleep and constant pain,my back would not allow me to rest or move to any great degree,and whenever I did manage to doze,I was awoken with sharp spasms of pain whenever I tried to move to ease my discomfort.My left side,shoulder and neck,my lower back,all are extremely painful even to the slightest touch,and the very strong painkillers left over from when my doctor last prescribed them have little,or no,effect whatsoever.I am physically worn out from the level of pain I am being asked to tolerate,I have quite a high tolerance to pain,but I must confess to being very close to tears at times with this present attack.I feel like a boxer who is being repeatedly punched in the kidneys,with a few rabbit punches to the back of the neck on the blind side of the referee thrown in for good measure.My wife massaged my back gently last night,and she seems to think that the most painful area in my back is actually on the bone at the base of my spine,but the pain is so great,and so widespread,that I don't know if she is correct or not.This morning,I am tired,but still,strangely enough,remaining on the plus side of upbeat;I can just about cope with the pain,but my mind is confused and it is a struggle to think clearly.It is taking me far longer to assimilate my thoughts and actions,no doubt the pain is a major factor,but I dislike my mind being uncooperative and sluggish in this way.I will take a shower shortly,my shower yesterday helped somewhat,but it is hard to stand for too long,and I have lost weight to a degree that I have to run around in the shower to get wet!,(a little attempt at gallows humor there!). My spirit remains undaunted however,and I continue to hope,pray and believe,that the outcome to our present circumstances will be a favorable one,my Father in Heaven will only ask any of His children to suffer so much before He intervenes,such is His love,and such is my faith.Yesterday,I did not lose my temper once,a few little grumpy episodes,but nothing major,and last night I held my wife as she fell asleep,a simple thing,but it felt so good and did wonders for my soul.She is the reason that I function,the reason that I prolong my existence,and the one overriding driving force that enables my heart to keep beating,she is my breath,my fire,she is the very strength in my soul that enables me to continue to fight,when, at times,I have only the desire to lie down and surrender.Well journal,I am out of coffee,so it is time for me to leave this place,let us hope that today will be a pleasant one,let us pray that my physical pain will not diminish the beauty,or the peace,that this day has the possibility of delivering;and until the next time,peace,hope and gratitude go with us.