a news story

this was writtten about me and was going to be put in the newspaper...well they decided not to, but i still love the story and i hope you all enjoy! She wakes up and feels the baby kick. “Good morning,” she whispers to her daughter.  This unborn baby is the bright spot in Miranda’s life and it is heartbreaking that this is so, for there have been altogether too few bright spots in her young life. Miranda is 17 and a half years old, unmarried and pregnant with a baby due the day before Valentine’s Day. But that’s just part of the story. She is also a ward of the state and in desperate need of a family: a foster family to be her parents until she’s 18 while she, in turn, learns to be a mother. She says: “I don’t want (my daughter) to be hurt like I was…” In Idaho, there are almost 2,000 kids in foster care. In Boise, the number of foster families has not increased for six years, though the number of kids continues to grow. “(As a foster kid), you realize that one day everything you know can be gone. The very foundation under your feet can crumble away in a split second. You’re left with nothing.” Kids come to foster care for two reasons, although the stories are as numerous as the children: because it’s not safe for them to be at home, or because a home is not available.  “Everything I have now is fragile. My parents, me sitting here, even my things. You teach yourself not to get attached. You become afraid of losing everything — you don’t think family will be the one thing you’ll lose. But it happens.” It’s hardest to find foster homes for teenagers. And pregnant teenagers — that much harder. “This is really an unmet need,” says Julie Stadler, a caseworker with Idaho’s Department of Health and Welfare. To be clear: After Miranda has found a home, there is another pregnant teen or child who needs one. “Foster care has given me the opportunity to prove myself. To build a future for myself. I took it as a second chance, a chance to be who I wanted to be, not defined by my parents, my (siblings), my past.” Miranda gets butterflies in her stomach thinking: Is this the day? Is this the day a foster family will scoop her in their arms? “Sometimes I feel hopeless; why should I even get out of bed? I don’t want to wake up, like when you’ve had bad news. And if the good news comes along, you’re afraid you’ll lose it. You don’t want to hang on too tight because it hurts letting go.” Miranda is currently at a temporary place, a shelter home with eight foster kids (all looking for long-term foster homes).  She cannot raise her baby here; if a foster family doesn’t come forward, Miranda’s daughter will go into foster care until Miranda turns 18.  “I’m pinning a lot of hopes (on finding a foster family). (Otherwise), I feel just like my parents, like I can’t take care of her. I don’t want a daughter in the foster care system.” Even as her words implicate the pain in her life, Miranda is wildly hopeful about her future. She rubs her growing belly and smiles. “I seriously considered adoption. I even had a family picked out, but they decided to try fertility instead. I thought: ‘It’s not meant to be. Maybe I’m supposed to keep her.’ Now there’s no doubt. I love her with every ounce of my being…She’s a blessing in disguise. “She’s made me who I am. I’m a much better person now. But you have to know me before: I did drugs, I did alcohol. I ran away…I was an All-American teen. I acted out with every fiber of my being. “When I found out I was pregnant, I stopped smoking, stopped drinking, stopped running away, getting into fights. I turned everything around. I’m about to be a mom, and you can’t do those things in front of your daughter…Kids copy what they see. I want her to copy good things. The trick with finding a foster home — for any kid — is that there aren’t enough to choose from, to find a good match. But Miranda continues to hope.  “I want a home where I can raise my daughter without fear that she’ll be hurt physically or toyed with mentally…I don’t want people going in and out of her life, no one messing with her…I want her to have a better chance, the best chance to be a productive member of society…I want her to be a success.”   All those hopes are for her daughter, but in reality, it’s what she wants, too. It’s all any kid wants. “(With a foster family), it’s not going to be temporary. I want to form a bond; they can be grandparents to my baby…even if they’re not my family by blood, they can still be my family…” Miranda has a small basket filled with onesies, blankets and diapers, although that’s just about all. She’s taking parenting classes, newborn classes, Lamaze classes, CPR — along with her high school classes. She wants to get a high school diploma and dreams of being a massage therapist.  “There’s a lot of taboos where pregnant teens are concerned. It’s not fair. They need to hear the story. There’s a lot more to it than what’s on the surface.   “They think, oh, she’s a slut. I’m not. I fell in love. I wasn’t stupid. It happened.” There is not one single facility in Idaho that will take underage pregnant teens. And furthermore, a foster family will get financial assistance for only Miranda, not her daughter.  “…I love children; I always wanted a baby. I don’t think she’s a mistake.I want to be a good mom. I want one day to be her hero. I don’t want her to hate me.” It’s hard to tell what life will be like for Miranda, no matter what happens. Her words and her actions sometimes clash; her past and her future are all tangled in the turbulent waters of being a teenager. Add in impending motherhood… “I’ve grown up. I’m not as selfish — I didn’t (used to) think about others or how my actions hurt them. But now, if I smoked, (my daughter) would be hurt…I’ve learned responsibility, lots and lots of responsibility; how to be independent, how to have faith… “I’m not scare any more of getting hurt. I embrace it as an experience to help me grow, not something that will destroy me.   “I’m not just another case plan. I’m not just another pregnant teen. I have feelings, I have hopes, I have dreams. I’m not a lost cause. Even though I didn’t make all the right decisions, I’m still a good person.”   CAPTION:Miranda’s wildest — and desperate — hope is that a foster family will choose her and help her raise her baby. “I hope someone will open their hearts and become foster parents. Maybe someone who has never been a foster parent — or a foster parent willing to try something new, like raising a pregnant teen.” FOR MORE INFORMATION;Although many families have committed to sharing the parenting of children by being foster families, “many other families probably have the belief that the need for foster care is being met. It is not,” says Tim Sanders with Idaho Health and Welfare. Families can begin the process by calling 2-1-1 (the Idaho Care Line) and asking to speak to a representative from the area. Families get extensive training and, if they wish, can be very specific about how many kids, what kinds of kids and what ages they want to work with. Foster families can take children for long- or short-term parenting. “The need is greater than the number of families,” says Julie Stadler, a caseworker.  IS THERE A WEBSITE?