A New Year's Day Letter To Cara 2014
I talk often to my friend Martha about you. She's very kind and comforting to me. Her mother died when she was very young. Her first marriage thankfully she divorced the SOB... but not until after enduring terrific beatings from him for several years... She was born in a time when you endured a lot to avoid a divorce... Your grandma can tell you about that... she went through pretty much the same thing...
Martha did not lose a child to death but her relationship with her two sons is not very close. She wants it to be... but Eddie has a wife who doesn't like Martha... Frankly I don't know what Martha might have done to upset the woman... (Cara... you know me... I call Eddie's wife lots of names... none so kind as woman... It just breaks my heart because I know how sad Martha is about not seeing Eddie or her grandchildren...) but I do think Eddie should be a man... remember the mom who endured years of hardship to raise him to be a man... Eddie made a visit recently... the first time Martha had seen him in years... He was in town and spent the night and a few hours with Martha... Her voice was so happy when she called to tell me Eddie had visited...
She deserves so much better than she's getting... I'm so grateful for Martha... Sure she may have made mistakes... we all do... and her other son... well... he's just very busy... (bull... he's selfish... and I'd like to kick him where the sun don't shine!) he calls from time to time... Its not fair and its not enough... so Cara please light a fire under those boys asses and tell them to visit their mom...
Anyway Martha came to dinner today. It was so good to see her. I got a picture of her and of Bluebell. I want you and any of my SOTH who read this to meet Martha. I truly do admire her and I'm so grateful for her.
Martha says she feels you here sometimes in the house... I can believe it... I feel you now and then... never as much as I want... I have told Martha she would have loved you... and you would have loved her... You would have felt compassion for Martha's age and fragileness and compassion for her spirit, and you and she and me too... we'd have shared so many laughs... Martha has a wicked sense of humor... LMAO.... she loves candy... Richard and I always buy her chocolate covered cherries for Christmas... she's like a kid whatever kind of sweets we get her... I sent a big piece of chocolate cream pie back to Ida's with her today and a big bowl of cabbage casserole.
When I made the cabbage casserole I thought with so much love of you and mama... This morning I was feeling so sad... missing all of you so much... but now I'm feeling better... I should write to you more often. I was thinking of you a few minutes ago when I was reading one of Leda's journals... December 17th's Josh's birthday... I can't wait till your birthday... I definitely think that is a fantastic way to celebrate your birthday... as a woman you know we all love to recall the day/night our child(ren) were born... Kind of sad and yet wonderful... I loved and wanted you before you were even conceived... I loved you all your life... I will love you forever in whatever form I exist...
Martha did not lose a child to death but her relationship with her two sons is not very close. She wants it to be... but Eddie has a wife who doesn't like Martha... Frankly I don't know what Martha might have done to upset the woman... (Cara... you know me... I call Eddie's wife lots of names... none so kind as woman... It just breaks my heart because I know how sad Martha is about not seeing Eddie or her grandchildren...) but I do think Eddie should be a man... remember the mom who endured years of hardship to raise him to be a man... Eddie made a visit recently... the first time Martha had seen him in years... He was in town and spent the night and a few hours with Martha... Her voice was so happy when she called to tell me Eddie had visited...
She deserves so much better than she's getting... I'm so grateful for Martha... Sure she may have made mistakes... we all do... and her other son... well... he's just very busy... (bull... he's selfish... and I'd like to kick him where the sun don't shine!) he calls from time to time... Its not fair and its not enough... so Cara please light a fire under those boys asses and tell them to visit their mom...
Anyway Martha came to dinner today. It was so good to see her. I got a picture of her and of Bluebell. I want you and any of my SOTH who read this to meet Martha. I truly do admire her and I'm so grateful for her.
Martha says she feels you here sometimes in the house... I can believe it... I feel you now and then... never as much as I want... I have told Martha she would have loved you... and you would have loved her... You would have felt compassion for Martha's age and fragileness and compassion for her spirit, and you and she and me too... we'd have shared so many laughs... Martha has a wicked sense of humor... LMAO.... she loves candy... Richard and I always buy her chocolate covered cherries for Christmas... she's like a kid whatever kind of sweets we get her... I sent a big piece of chocolate cream pie back to Ida's with her today and a big bowl of cabbage casserole.
When I made the cabbage casserole I thought with so much love of you and mama... This morning I was feeling so sad... missing all of you so much... but now I'm feeling better... I should write to you more often. I was thinking of you a few minutes ago when I was reading one of Leda's journals... December 17th's Josh's birthday... I can't wait till your birthday... I definitely think that is a fantastic way to celebrate your birthday... as a woman you know we all love to recall the day/night our child(ren) were born... Kind of sad and yet wonderful... I loved and wanted you before you were even conceived... I loved you all your life... I will love you forever in whatever form I exist...
Replies
This is a lovely narrative on a good friend and an earnest conversation of a mother and her daughter. It was enjoyable to read.
I admit I did enjoy re-telling the old labor stories that bring women young and old to share.
Take care Elissa, you and Richard need to work your way through that awful virus. Hope you feel better soon.
This was like reading a chapter, in a great novel!! I so enjoyed meeting Martha and loved seeing her picture. She looks like someone I would love getting to know. Friends.....they are just the best !!!
((((HUGS))))....Julia
I just love this, Elissa! So heart warming!! xxx
Oh, how I wish those sons would visit their mom. I sometimes wonder what happens where it becomes easier to \"avoid\" than to engage in a relationship? All she wants is to feel their love and to be reassured that they understand she did her best. I remember telling my late mom all the things I loved about her and those things that drove me crazy too and to see the twinkle in her eye was worth it all. So many things she never imagined meant the most and thank goodness I could let her know.
Such a comfort that Martha can feel Cara and can tell you about it. I truly believe our children use others as their messengers when we perhaps need that connection.
You are a wonderful friend to Martha as she is to you and i hope Cara can work her magic and get those sons of hers to tend to her loving and fragile heart.
I enjoyed your letter and \"write away\" dear Elissa. It feels very healing to do so.
May Cara continue to BE with you in her very unique ways that mothers and daughters share.
Heartfelt (((hugs)))
XO Joanie
Prayers that those. Boys reach out to their mother.
So nice to meet ya Martha!
Love and gentle hugs. Karen
what a beautiful Journal! So happy you have Martha! love and hugs to you and (((((((((Cara)))))))
Elissa. What a heartfelt letter to Cara. Thank you for sharing it with us.
I feel so sad for Martha. She sounds like a very good friend. I often wonder why some people draw such short straws in life. What pain she is carrying with her sons being so unfeeling. My friend was alienated from her youngest son for several years because of his wife. She was only allowed to see him and her grandson for a short while, at a restaurant. Things are much better but she was so devastated. I can only imagine how Martha must feel.
I truly understand why she stayed in an abusive relationship. She was brave to leave! And if she had no support, what could she do. It is still not uncommon to hear about women who are murdered by their abusive spouses after they leave.
I pray that her boys come to their senses. I am sure Cara will give them a kick in the butt, and I am sure Lisa will help!
Love and hugs,
Marlene
Absolutely beautiful, cara, Martha, your words, your heart, You! I love you!
Martha sounds like a very special woman. One day her sons will be \"enlightened\" as to how they treated their MomIt may be when they transitionbut for Martha\'s sake, I hope they wake up soonerLove, Donna