A New Light
For the past few months, I've been studying Asperger's Syndrome (AS) symptoms in girls because I have had some suspicions that I may have AS. Asperger's Syndrome is on the Autism Spectrum in the "high-functioning" catergory. I would have a rollercoaster of being absolutely sure I have it and than spiraling down with doubts. One night, I was really struggling because I have been having some friend issues so I went to talk to my mom. We talked about my friend for a while. I hadn't told my mom about my suspicions of me having AS because she would usually get mad at me for thinking I have a mental illness or any other type of illness'. I told my mom "I really want to tell you something, but I'm scared because I don't know how you'll react." She told me I could talk to her so, hesitantly, I told her I think I have AS. Much to my surprise, she said she was waiting for me to talk to her and she also has her suspicions that I have AS. She wouldn't tell why she thought I have AS or how long she was suspecting, but her saying she has her own suspicions really helped me. We don't have Health Insurance so I can't get an official diognosis but in a book I was reading, it said that sometimes self-diognosing is the best thing to do until you can get an official diognosis. Girls with AS tend to get misdiognosed a lot because they only studied boys with AS and boys and girls have different symptoms.
I also learned that my friends both have ADHD, one of them is getting a diognosis soon. It is rare to have AS and not other mental illness' like ADHD or Anxiety. I need to study ADHD more closey but I have suspicions I have it too. It's harder because AS and ADHD have some of the same symptoms. It seems whenever I make friends they have ADHD or another type of 'disability'. It's kind of cool how whenever one of us learns something about neurotypicals we didn't know and share it with each other, we laugh and compare experiences about how we acted differently than neurotypicals.
The book on AS I was reading had a graph at the back with symptoms of AS and I have all of the symptoms (for kids) except for one.
I have an identical twin and she doesnt seem like she has AS so that threw me off but apparently one identical twin can get Autism and the other not.
I've been needing to make a list of things I have and think I have so here is mine:
Things I know I have:
Strabismus
Psoriasis
Acid Reflux
Anxiety
Obssesive Compulsive Disorder
Trichotillomania
Things I think I have:
Asperger's Syndrome/Autism
Attention Deficit Disorder
Hyperlexia
Acid Reflux, Anxiety, ADD/ADHD, OCD, self-harming disorders (trichotillomania), and Hyperlexia are all symptoms of AS. I also have really bad social cues. Last night, my sister was really grumpy. I was going to bed and I usually hug everyone before I go to my room. I tried hugging my sister but she freaked out. My mom told me that that is one social cue I have to learn.
Apparently, people with AS are usually gifted with music or art. I am not, but they can be good at graphic design and I write in Gallifreyan which is a lot like graphic design. Plus it's really hard for others and I find it easy.
There are a bunch more reasons why I think I have it but I don't want to write it all now. I do think I'm going to give myself an official self-diognosis, though. What do you guys think?
Replies
What you need to study is how anxiety symptoms can mimic AS. You will find there are many similarities. Anxiety stunts our emotional and intellectual growth. Our focus is on our fear instead of the world around us, therefore we don’t grow as a person without anxiety. For what it’s worth, I can see your obsession with AS. Being diagnosed with it will not change you. There is little that can be done about it. How do I know? My oldest grandson is autistic. On the other side of this conundrum is the fact that anxiety can be overcome using a technique called the acceptance method. All your mental symptoms, the hair pulling, the OCD is all under the anxiety spectrum. All of these symptoms can be treated with the same method because they are just manifestations of the anxiety. Your study would be greatly improved if you focused on the anxiety and the treatment instead of reaching for another “cause” of your problems. What you are doing in obsessing about AS is typical of anxiety, trying to figure out what is wrong with you instead of accepting anxiety disorder as your problem. If you were to study this aspect, you will find it true. Look, I did the same thing, always trying to figure out what was wrong with me, and yes, I even went the autism route too. But when I started into recovery using the acceptance method, it became clearer and clearer that anxiety was the problem, not anything else. Do yourself a favor and focus your attention on anxiety recovery instead of other things. There is a great book available, It’s Only Anxiety by Carl James, it teaches the method. $11 on Amazon.
You need an official diagnosis. I'm not saying it's easy. It's not. But to self diagnose...well, it can get complicated.
You need an experienced mental health diagnosis. Maybe a state run program. Or a college run program. I know here in Baton Rouge, LSU and Southern have many campus sponsored programs where the fees are income based. So, it can cost little to nothing. Something to look into.
In the meantime, try to control and deal with what you can. The social cues can be dealt with. Get out. Make friends. Especially those who understand mental issues. There's more of them out there than you think. Find groups who discuss it with each other.
Be proactive. Not reactive.
Just a thought.
Share with us here. We really shouldn't give medical advice. But maybe we could share what has worked for us.
We don't have Health Insurance and my dad is an artist so we don't really have the money to get an official diagnosis at the moment. I am planning on seeing our Doctor next month so I'll ask him.
That doesnt preclude you from participating in university studire and programs. Do you have a college near you? They sometimes offer cheap or free programs through their students study programs. Its worth checking out!