"A New Group"

 
Well, no one ever said that grieving was easy. And grieving in a group setting is even more difficult it would seem. Over the last couple of days, there has been a great deal of petty squabbling, bickering, and childishness on display on the Widows & Widowers bereavement group. 
For a little background, there are a couple of members who continue to spar with one another over any and every issue that they participate in. Their dislike for one another is well known within the group. Like youngsters in school, other members take sides with the person they choose to agree with. When an altercation ensues, there are a few others that jump into the fray, and stir up the whole pot. Feelings get hurt, spiteful comments are made, and friendships are ruined. 
The other day, a discussion was initiated called “To thoses that don't believe”(sic). The poster suggested that he was unable to pose questions and receive answers regarding his grief experience as an atheist. He went so far as to say that some of the responses to his questions “in some ways made things worse”. He floated the idea of forming a new W&W group for non-believers. A flood of posts, (115) have ensued, and the controversy exploded. 
My initial input was to simply state that my faith was reborn in coincidence with my wife's illness and her passing. I indicated that I felt everyone's input was welcome and that the poster should remain in the group. When the posting became one of a theological debate, I examined the structure of DS and discovered that it is not a faith based organization, per se. That being said, I concluded that for those of us who needed to openly discuss our faith in a group, WE should form a sub-group specifically for a faith based perspective on grieving. 
I founded a sub group of Widows and Widowers that I labeled “Widows & Widowers of Faith”, and I invited people who had “friended” me at DS to join. I also posted a notice for the new group, inviting EVERYONE to join. I never suggested that anyone leave the main W&W Group. I immediately received a personal message attacking me for having formed the new group. The same person then attacked me and ridiculed me in the discussion thread announcing this group. Many people supported me, and several were critical of me. Many were just exasperated by the whole thing. But the group is up and running and currently has 24 members. 
When I woke up this morning and visited the DS site, I was saddened to read where my posting of a Christian Flag at the top of the new group had drawn scorn and ridicule. I acknowledged my insensitivity and changed the flag to the American Flag. I explained that the American Flag is a symbol of the melting pot that is America, and that we are inclusive and NOT exclusive. I also indicated that, while DS is not faith based, it is an American company and web site. I acknowledged that I was aware that there were many good people posting at DS who are of a different nationality, but that they are most welcome to join us in the spirit of freedom to worship. I now have been taken to task for using the American Flag to herald the group. 
I find the pettiness and vitriol over this whole affair to be utterly repugnant and distasteful. My only motivation in establishing a new group was to help remove the controversy and ease the hurt feelings that exist within the confines of Widows & Widowers. There are many sub groups of W&W currently in existence. It is so very strange that one based upon faith would be so controversial. But, then again, people of faith have been mocked and ridiculed since the beginning of time, haven't they? 
In conclusion, I would once again extend an invitation to anyone of any faith or no faith at all; from any nation or any place of residence in the universe, to join us in pursuing our healing with the benefit of a being that is greater than ourselves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTXufk4ig4Q
Family Of ManThis tired city was somebody's dreamBillboard horizons as black as they seemFour level highways across the landWe're building a home for the family of manAnd it's so hard whatever we are coming toYes it's so hard with so little timeAnd so much to doTime running out for the family of manOne man to lead us with so much to sayMoving the mountains that got in our wayPrayer books and meetings to find a planDeciding the fate of the family of manMemories replacing the loves that we've lostBurning our bridges as soon as they're crossedFactories built where the rivers ranAnd time running out for the family of man