A New Direction-8/17/2008

I am so sorry that I havent written.But so much has happened and it will take a lifetime to tell it all.The first thing that happened Brad started to drink again and this time I almost lost him.He had been depressed for quite some time and I have tried to get him help.Noone else knew.I never told anyone because I dont see people face to face anymore and you do not know even in seattle who you are talking too.I have quit the choir.And I do not know today that I will go back.The choir is changing.We are getting so many new people.These new people are not friendly at all.They all seem to be in their own world.And it hurts me because I promised Frank that I would sing again..but I cant.People are strange here now.I feel so alone and I have lost a friend.Miriam and I had a big fight..but she just doesnt understand what it is like now to live with this grief.She just doesnt and it hurts me.But I would rather be alone now and I like being alone.Friends confine you.And people today have got different interests.I have found this out.And I will never forget her..but she and the others at this school do not understand thepower of grief and how I am struglgling every day.You see,I cannot talk to Brad and we are worlds apart.I do not love him anymore.We did once.But it is over and I am in this relationship because of financial reasons.The cats love him and I cant at 60 start anew.