A new day,and the whisper of hope still remains

The time is 9:05am,and here I sit once more journal;I am rested,even though I did not retire until 1:30am,I feel a little easier in my mind, and my body feels slightly more relaxed than it has of late.I do not usually remain up and active until such a late hour,but I availed myself of a two hour nap between 3:00pm and 5:00pm,when tiredness simply swept over me like a blanket.On awakening,I felt refreshed and calm,and although I could raise no appetite at all for an evening meal,I did nibble at a snack of potato chips and a small cup of soup.I watched some television for a time and the evening passed pleasantly enough;my wife and I engaging in quiet conversation while she worked at the computer,as I watched from my chair.My wife is a very attractive brunette,with the most revealing brown eyes I have ever seen;if I want to know how she's feeling,or what her emotional state of mind is,then that's where I look,they never lie because her soul lives in them.She is as tall as myself,and still has the ability to turn the heads of men when she passes,she denies this,and dismisses the idea whenever I tease her about it,with an embarrassed sweep of her arm,and a childish frown of displeasure.I can sense her weariness most days,while in others,she attempts to disguise her tiredness with outward displays of enthusiasm and merriment that seldom reach the eyes I never tire of gazing into.My wife now reads my journal at my invitation,and I hope that she gains some insight,and indeed,some sense of my appreciation of her;but most of all,I hope she understands the depth of love and esteem that she commands in the heart of the man she shares her life with.We retired together at the same time last night/early morning,and I slept better,and more soundly,knowing she was by my side, exactly where she should be;and I made a mental memo to myself to endeavor to do this more often.I type my feelings much better than I can express them orally,I can find the words and expressions I wish to use, in the quiet of the morning before the household has risen,and before the onslaught of the day fully begins.
                                                                                     As for my general health this morning,my pain level is tolerable,although my breathing needed some assistance before I gained any level of comfort;by that I mean I had to be physically sick in order to clear the phlegm and mucus which had built up in the night in my lungs.It took ten to fifteen minutes afterwards, for my body to fully stop trembling,and for my inhaler to take full effect,but it has functioned effectively enough to allow me to,at least,breathe with some degree of relative comfort.My mental state is one of comparative calmness,if not serenity,but I will take that gratefully,having being put through the mental wringer,metaphorically speaking, over the past few days.It was not my decision to make an appointment to see a cognitive behavioral therapist,my mental health team decided that it might benefit me, and offered me the opportunity to"leap frog"the waiting list,which is currently twelve months long;and see a CBT trainee,who was searching for individuals such as myself to further his education.I hope he is fully prepared for whatever walks into his office on that initial first visitation.As for my limbs,my legs ache this morning,stiffness and cramp make movement on a major scale,difficult;my arms and hands are in a similar physical condition,stiff and painful;but it is a huge improvement of the past three days,and I am grateful.I have arthritis,mainly on my left side,but some on my right,which can cause pain and stiffness as the weather turns colder,but to date,it has been minimal this year;another reason to be grateful.So,all in all,not a bad start to the day journal;I shall leave my little yellow fellow in place for now,let's try to walk before we run,and till tomorrow then,let us be grateful for a new day where the whisper of hope still remains;peace be within us.