A New Chapter

So after many years full of ups and downs I finally made the decision and asked my husband to move out. It was a 6 hour conversation that consisted of a lot of back and forth but more than anything him trying to convince me to give it "one last shot. When it didn't work he finally left. The following few days were ok but he refused to leave me alone. Constantly needing to talk so he could understand what happened and why I left. It was to no avail. No matter how nice or mean I was about leaving him he just didn't seem to accept it. Finally things come to a head on Tuesday. I told him that we were 100% done, no working things out, no chances in the future, nothing. So then he started saying he was going to take his life and that he'd lost everything. He refused to tell me where he was and so I hung up on him and called his dad. I told his dad he had to go take S to the hospital and instead of taking me serious he started bashing me. Telling me that if his wife had ever cheated on him that he'd have left her and not given another chance and that last summer when I told S that I needed a separation that it was nothing but a joke. I got mad but there was no point in arguing with a man who is exactly like his son, they see everyone else's faults and never their own and never take ownership. So then S called me back angry that I called his dad. After some back and forth he got really calm and started telling me he loves me and that hell be watching over the kids and that he's sorry. At one point he asked if I'd stay on the phone until he was dead and I lost it on him telling him to go to the hospital. Then his breathing went weird and he told me I should probably hang up. I did so and called 911. They found him and he was still alive. His dad in the meantime had called and left me voicemails basically telling me what a horrible person I was and that he'd be to town to get S's stuff on the weekend. He didn't believe his son was in danger but then everything is my fault now too. So fast forward a couple days and now he's magically cured. He wants to have sex one more time so he has some closure. He wants to talk to the kids and ask them who they want to live with(they're 13, 10 and 7) and he doesn't see a need to have anything drawn up by the lawyers in terms of child support and custody. I in no way whatsoever feel it is in our children's best interests to go live with their dad after he just about killed himself, he just started a new job, doesn't have a house to live in. He needs a lot of counselling before I feel he will be stable enough. He continually brings up me dating other people to which I have not the slightest desire right now. And so now tomorrow he is coming to get his stuff but he wants to go through keepsakes and such too. It's all so overwhelming and just as I feel like I'm getting one step ahead I'm pushed back five.