A new beginning!
I've had the last year to adjust to being a single parent. My husband and I are separated but not yet divorced. I've had to move forward with my life and am excited to be starting a new full time job this next week! I've worked two part time jobs that have been wonderful, but neither paid enough to really make ends meet. Now I'll be okay. Yay!!!! On the flip side, I'm having to come to terms with my not being able to do the things I want to do with and for my children. They're young--just 3 and 5 years old. I had wanted to be able to be their primary caretaker until my youngest was in kindergarten. Now I'll have to rely on childcare...which is okay, but I am already experiencing some of my own separation anxiety. Sigh. I know many have gone before me in doing this and many will come after... Plus I know (logically) that my kids will adjust. I'm just dealing with the emotional side of it... It'll all be okay. I have a wonderful family. I am sooooo blessed.
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I think I\'m ready to close my account here at DS. I joined this past July, almost a year after my husband and I separated. I\'d like to be able to say that \"I wish I would have known about DS a year ago...\" but I don\'t think I can. As an \"outsider\" I read posts that are really focused towards a specific group of people...and some of those same people often \"hijack\" others\' posts and take things in VERY different directions. While many of these folks seem to be good friends (which I think is GREAT), I think it makes it difficult to want to post or contribute--I\'m an \"outside\" so what I have to say would get lost in the shuffle of those with more vocal, rude or frequent opinions. I know that I could sound like I have sour grapes or feel left out of a clique...but that\'s not it. I have a good group of friends and a wonderful family who have supported me through this difficult year--and I feel truly blessed. Had I dug in and actively pursued it, I believe I could have made some online friends too. Mostly, given I am in a pretty good frame of mind and \"space,\" I had hoped to offer others words of support or encouragement. Reading through posts and responses, I have been consistently deterred due to the direction some folks take posts...the rudeness and hurtful way in which some of these people talk (I believe they would call it tough love--or something like that to justify their rude remarks).
I believe in the spirit of DS and hope that many do find support and \"help\" here. I would encourage anyone struggling with the shock, hurt, roller-coaster emotions, depression, numbness, etc. of a break-up pursue some counseling. Remember to keep putting one foot in front of the other and focus on taking care of \"you.\" Learn to forgive. It doesn\'t mean you condone your ex\'s actions/behavior, but it can free you up of the anger and resentment. Focus on making good things happen for yourself. It sounds so trite but truly, our own minds are our worst enemy--the sooner we can rid those negative thoughts and focus on the positive, the healthier we can be. I still struggle with these things but have come a long way.
All the best to those who continue to seek support here at DS.