a moment in time to love

Im feeling emotionally better today. However I think im getting a cold or something witch is hard because I was sick when my baby JoAnn . . . . left. . . . before she was even born.  Some days im just numb and other days its all I can do to not break down and cry and never get up. and every once in a while I have an ok day. Actually my shower last week wasn't to bad. Its been hard to have relaxing showers because I did c section and its hard to emotionally deal with the scar that's left over. every once in a while I wonder if I will be able to touch the scar without it hurting or if its going to hurt forever. honestly I have no idea if this is even going to help or not. but I know if I don't try to do something that this is going to break more than just skin and muscle. its going to break me but most important its going to break my family so I need to do something. that's why im here. I know its going to take time. but if I don't start taking steps now then it will never get better.
My husband is more than supportive. and im very grateful for him to let me get to this step on my own. I know if he had tried to force me then I would do it because im a people pleaser but it wouldn't have worked the same way. So I want to take this moment now to thank him because with out him I wouldn't be here. Thank you teddy bear. It means so such to me that you know me so well and know just what to do. How to make me smile. how to help me. and how to love me. I love you teddy bear!