A Memorial Postponed

   My dad died March 11th.  I leave early tomorrow for his memorial service out of state.  It's been four months, four very tough months.  As the flight time nears I am filled with nervous energy and angst.  My mind is so distracted, that I went outside yesterday and automatically locked the door behind me.  Of course I didn't have my keys, phone or shoes.  After trying every window and door, and finding them all locked up tight, I sat down in the sun and started to cry.  What a perfect analogy for my life this moment had become, STUCK.  
   Will this weekend help me to get un stuck?  I sure hope so.  Finding my passion again, my work ethic, my purpose is essential to my personal well being.  The practical side of me knows all of this but the emotional side of me is weary of the grieving, loss and loneliness.  Funny, because I beleive they go hand in hand.  When I had news to share I got on the phone to my dad.  He encouraged me to pursue my home based business and was so very proud of me for going for my dream.  I wanted to make him proud.  There have been moments after a show that I reached for the phone to tell him a funny antidote or share a road trip that had gone horribly wrong, so that we both could laugh at how silly my life is.  From his living room recliner he shared my trips, understood my need to escape and always supported my choices.  I miss you dad.  I sure hope you send me a huge epiphany when I'm up there cause I could sure use one.  Lori