A long road

Trying to just get through each day but its hard. Still no sex been almost 6months now. Oh hes gropped at me in the night but that only disgusts me and i feel hurt. Asked him how things going with councillor and he said ok but when i asked if he wanted to share with me he got indignant and said its personel stuff, from childhood etc, personel. I felt like i had been slapped across the face, So what we been together for 25 years and now this is personel stuff? What the hell is that shit and how do i know it doesnt affect me? Been over 3 yrs since he "disclosed" to me and hardly made any progress. Sometimes i wonder if it would have been better me leaving him and going it alone. Hes still a "loner" yet i read thats the disease not in recovery, i dont figure? Strange i dont care about sex anymore emotionally blanked it out. A friend of ours got married after living with her man for 8 years, her cousin said you be next, after i mentioned we been engaged for over 20 yrs. Saw the cousin the other day and she asked i said i would ask him. He said NO to getting married. What the hell am i doing in this relationship with this guy i have to wonder.