A Little Step Back
I was feeling better yesterday. Today I just feel alone. I miss my ex. I am still sorry for everything I did or didn't do. She was the love of my life.
Every journey usually has a few bumps. I'm taking them as best I can. It doesn't harm you to take steps back as long as you continue moving forward later. Sure everyone has problems, but nothing they can't overcome. It takes patience, hard-work, and most importantly......love. For those who aren't where they need to be. Loving yourself will help you move forward. For those who must watch, it takes love to support them and have the patience to bear their burden until they can change. I'm not saying never leave them. You can only handle so much, but before you give up; make sure you've done everything you can for them.
I will say this. I love everybody who must wake up every morning and look for the strength to move on. It takes a lot of courage and strength to make it out of bed in the morning. I know my feeling most mornings is that I never want to get up again. I want to lay there forever and just rest. I pick myself up though. Maybe not as much as I needed to for the people in my life, but I do it.
I have my first therapy appointment the day after Christmas with my new doctor. I love the staff at my local clinic. The best I've been to yet. I am putting all my effort into this one. I need to. I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of hurting others because my past clamps my ankles tightly and weighs me down. I wish I could change everything I messed up in the past. I would. I can't though. I know I must look to the future and do better there. Every day is a battle when you have depression. I plan to win the war.
A little step back. A beautiful walk forward. I see my path. I will take it. I love you all. You can get through this. One day at a time. One day is all it takes to find that moment you looked for your whole life. One day I will. One day you will.
Every journey usually has a few bumps. I'm taking them as best I can. It doesn't harm you to take steps back as long as you continue moving forward later. Sure everyone has problems, but nothing they can't overcome. It takes patience, hard-work, and most importantly......love. For those who aren't where they need to be. Loving yourself will help you move forward. For those who must watch, it takes love to support them and have the patience to bear their burden until they can change. I'm not saying never leave them. You can only handle so much, but before you give up; make sure you've done everything you can for them.
I will say this. I love everybody who must wake up every morning and look for the strength to move on. It takes a lot of courage and strength to make it out of bed in the morning. I know my feeling most mornings is that I never want to get up again. I want to lay there forever and just rest. I pick myself up though. Maybe not as much as I needed to for the people in my life, but I do it.
I have my first therapy appointment the day after Christmas with my new doctor. I love the staff at my local clinic. The best I've been to yet. I am putting all my effort into this one. I need to. I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of hurting others because my past clamps my ankles tightly and weighs me down. I wish I could change everything I messed up in the past. I would. I can't though. I know I must look to the future and do better there. Every day is a battle when you have depression. I plan to win the war.
A little step back. A beautiful walk forward. I see my path. I will take it. I love you all. You can get through this. One day at a time. One day is all it takes to find that moment you looked for your whole life. One day I will. One day you will.
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